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Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

September 23rd, 2009 @ 6:25 am

Categories: Employment, Strategy, Success, Work Life

Tags: Job, Income, Job Search, Recruitment & Selection, Personal Finance, Operational Accounting, Human Resources, Workforce Management, Finance, CC Holland

Back before the economy imploded and unemployment hovered near 10 percent and some of my most-respected colleagues began exploring Amway as a valid income option, we were always counseled to play hard-to-get in job interviews.

Don’t talk salary first. Be enthusiastic, but don’t gush. Remember that you’d be bringing value to their organization. Above all, make sure you negotiate, because after all, any job offer is just a starting point.

Has that all changed?

I just read a piece by Tim Tolan on Fistful of Talent in which he expressed consternation that a candidate might go through several rounds of vetting and still show up at the final interview with a “you’d be lucky to have me” attitude. His point seemed to be that with unemployment rates as high as they are, anyone should be swooningly grateful to have made it that far.

“Maybe they don’t understand math or are so caught up in themselves they simply don’t get it. Can you say ‘clueless’? Thanks.”

Now, maybe he’s talking about people who are still saying “I’m not sure this is the direction I want to go” in that final interview. If that’s the case, he’s dead-on. If you’re so unsure of whether this job is the right fit, why in tarnation did you keep interviewing up to this point?

But if he’s talking about a candidate who’s confident in his abilities and is expecting to have his prospective employers show him a certain amount of wooing, well, I think he’s dead wrong.

I recently interviewed for a gig that would have been a huge win-win. I brought to the table a unique skill set and background that would fill a gaping hole in their structure. They were a smart organization that would have provided me new challenges and opportunities. And they recruited me; I didn’t approach them. It took them two months to convince me to interview — for a position they were creating for me.

But when I went to meet the senior management, they spent no time at all telling me how much they’d like to have me on board, or why I’d be a good fit, or what the company could offer me. Instead, they grilled me on minutiae like start times, telecommuting, and vacation requirements.

I get it that you need to figure that stuff out. But considering the effort they put into pursuing me, you’d think they wouldn’t treat me as if I was someone who’d just walked in off the street with a “Help Wanted” ad clutched in my grimy hand.

In the end, I said no, despite a fair offer. Recession or not, I want to be part of an organization that values me, not one that expects me to be grateful just to have a paycheck.

I’m sure I’m going to get plenty of comments from people who will flame me for turning up my nose at a steady income, but so be it; my job satisfaction comes from more than just money. As long as I’m getting by, I’ll hold out for that professional respect.

So I say playing hard-to-get is still the right approach. If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect a potential employer to respect you?

(image by WTL Photos via Flickr, CC 2.0)

CC Holland is an award-winning writer and editor whose work appears in several national publications and Web sites.

 
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  •  
    1

    mainbrace

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    Does anyone feel a sense of mutual respect when one of you is "playing hard to get"?
    Relationships are built on mutual respect and little else. If you were "grilled" about your expectations, then just be happy your prospective employer wanted it get it right before you came on board so neither of you would have to suffer the disappointment of a bad recruit.
    Good decision not to join because if you couldn't see the bigger opportunity then it probably just wasn't there.


  •  
    2

    CubeRules.com

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    Well, mainbrace sure didn't read the same thing I did.

    It takes about five minutes to figure out if someone has enough job skills to do the job, the rest of the time needs to be about making sure there is a culture fit between how you work your best and how the company wants you to work. It's social.

    And while "hard to get" implies "I'm better than you are" that is not what this article is talking about. It's talking about whether or not there is a fit and -- just because the Great Recession is on -- doesn't mean you swoon for any opportunity that comes along.

    You don't swoon. Unless you want a lot of grief for the next phase of your life.

  •  
    3

    LLL2

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    I agree about respecting yourself -- I have learned (the hard way over many years) that it's true -- if you don't respect yourself, potential employers (or in the case of the self employed) will not respect you either and yes they will use and abuse you. Set some reasonable limits and they actually seem to want to work with you more - it seems to create a sense of value.

    I just don't think it should be contrived. If you're excited about a potential position I think it's good to let them know -- Yes, I LIKE your approach, I WANT to work with you. (The case where the author turned down the job is different as he actually was hard to get.)

    I can't speak to job interviews, but the column reminded me of something I've growing over the years that never ceases to amaze me, especially in this economy. And that is an evergrowing prima donna, belligerant even, attitude amongst employees. "Hire someone else to do that." "They should do xyz for us." "I'm just not going to learn the new system." etc.

    With unemployment over 10% where I live I have to raise my eyebrows when I hear people whine and grumble over not being given enough perks/bonus, and even refuse certain tasks that they're perfectly capable of doing. Do they think their company is not vulnerable to this economy? Don't they realize there is a line of people on the street who would gladly do their job twice over just to be employed?

  •  
    4

    CubeRules.com

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    @ LLL2 -- The respecting yourself comes from knowing your best working environment and not working in an environment that is opposite of that (unless there are huge overriding financial issues where you won't survive without the job. That happens, let's be real...).

    If you are a prima donna or belligerent about your skills, then you won't, and shouldn't, get the job...the six other applicants for your one position will do better.

    All of this reminds me of "blaming the victim." The applicant is at fault for not immediately kneeling before the all important job even though the employer treats them like crap, has them do things that are not related to the job, and expects them to just follow orders. Common sense and social conventions be damned.

    To be clear, there are a lot of applicants that think they walk on water. And there are lots of companies that walk on the same water. Each individual and manager, however, needs to find the commonality of wanting each other for mutual striving to meet company goals. There's good things with the position for the manager and good things for the applicant as well.

    We just paint all of this as one side or the other and neither is right.

  •  
    5

    darije.djokic@...

    09/25/09 | Report as spam

    Playing Hard-to-Get a Suicide? Of course not.

    Nice story. Never felt a serf?s attitude will do any good for You except barely
    filling a grumbling stomach. So, if You really are not a starving deadbeat but
    a true walking set of unique hard-to-find skills, there is no reason why You
    should not ?play? hard-to-get. At the contrary.

  •  
    6

    Gray Horse

    09/25/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    I believe that any interview situation is based on mutual respect...Anything less on either parties is a sure sign of trouble down the road...

    Unfortunately in this economy (and the era of cost reduction consultants), some companies are using this downturn as an excuse to "reset" the baseline for compensation.

    Whenever that has become apparent in an interview, I politely thank the interviewer for their time and ask that they contact me in the event that the position's compensation is adjusted to be more in line with my requirements.

    Hopefully, both in your resume and preliminary interviews, you have demonstrated strong value to your experience.

    Remember...this is your career, not "Let's Make A Deal...don't sell yourself short or you will ultimately regret it.







  •  
    7

    Let-It-Ride

    09/25/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    It all comes down to supply and demand. If you have highly specialized skills and find the right opportunity, you may have great negotiating power even in today's market. That's NOT the case in most situations.

    Employers are holding all the cards right now leaving them with most of the negotiating power. You should not interpret this as "disrespect". Simply put, they see 300+ resumes for each job posted. They believe they have the pick of the litter and should get a candidate that is 110% qualified for 90% compensation. When the pendulum swings back, employees can be more selective and we can start talking about "careers" again instead of "jobs".

    Do you have a family to support? Kids in college? Parents in hospice care? Mortgage? Credit Card debt piling up? I would never disrespect myself or work for a company whose product or service violates my core principles. Beyond that, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Or as they say, man-up.

  •  
    8

    Alice01

    11/10/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    Very good story. Very informative one. Now a days job search is a very easy one. We no need worry about that. I would like to share about job sites. I found one good job site. With the help of that site ,one of my friend got a good computing job. I feel http://cloudjobs.net very useful to me. I hope this is very useful for all the job hunters.
    Thanks http://cloudjobs.net/ .
    New job hunters please select the good job sites for your job search.Then you no need worry.

    Thanks,
    Alice.

  •  
    9

    darije.djokic@...

    11/11/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Is Playing Hard-to-Get Suicide in a Job Search?

    Good thinking. Not much people with a spine around.

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