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My Ex-Wife, My Business Partner

August 3rd, 2009 @ 9:43 am

2 Comments

Categories: Hate, Lawyers, Love, Work/Home Dichotomy

Tags: Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

I’m 65 and am 50 percent owner of a retail grocery store. The other owner is my ex-wife. Most of my net worth is tied up in the business. The other owner will not buy me out, won’t sell her interest nor consider selling to a third party because she loves the business. Sentiment has so far prevented me from getting nasty, but can you suggest tactics that I might use should it come to that?

Signed,

Chained to My Ex

Dear Poor Bastard,

Wow, that really stinks. I can’t see the keyboard because I’m so misted up. What a revolting situation!

I’m sorry. I got sort of carried away there. It’s hard enough to get a divorce. But to actually get one and then STILL to be forced to work every day with your former spouse is a fate almost too difficult to bear. It’s obvious to me that your ex may have been forced to grant you the marriage-ending document you sought but that she has no intention of letting you pursue and independent existence. In the name of all that’s sacred to the human spirit, you must escape!

I’m sorry. I sort of got carried away again. Here’s my dispassionate reading on the situation. You are 50 percent owner in that store. I seriously doubt that there is a document stating that you do not have the right to dispose of your 50 percent as you see fit. That’s what it means to own 50 percent of something. You own it. You can sell it. The most you owe your ex is the right of first refusal on the property. So offer it again. Tell her that if she refuses, you will be selling it to somebody else. Obviously, you won’t be getting a great price if the other owner is against it, but even if you are forced to take a little less to make the deal, I personally would do it. I know people who pay their former spouse thousands of dollars a month of support and still think that every penny is worth it. You are only 65 years old. That means if you don’t die of aggravation, you just might have another couple of decades on this planet. Why not spend them the way you want to? Anything less would be a crime.

In order to do this, however, you’re going to need a good lawyer. It’s amazing what an aggressive attorney with no feelings involved can get done in this kind of situation. On the contrary side, you might want to get together with your ex and reprise the whole Moses vs. Pharoah “let my people go” scenario. That sometimes works, too. But whatever you do, my friend, get the heck out of that store, doing whatever it takes to do so. In the end, you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself if you don’t.

Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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  •  
    1

    JV@...

    08/05/09 | Report as spam

    RE: My Ex-Wife, My Business Partner

    This is a legal matter rather than one for well-meaning
    novices - and I should know, 'cos I've been there
    First a question ..... is your joint ownership embodied in
    some sort of legal agreement?
    If so, the issue of one partner wishing to depart the
    business should be enshrined in the agreement and if it's not
    specified in the agreement, find another lawyer. Fast!
    If there's no agreement, talk to your lawyer about your
    options at common law (and make sure any future business
    agreement is contractural, even if you really, truly love
    each other

    JV @ l'Attitude in Cairns

  •  
    2

    Barry @...

    08/05/09 | Report as spam

    RE: My Ex-Wife, My Business Partner

    Dear ?Chained to My Ex? aka ?This is NOT how I planned my life!?

    I have four suggestions for you:

    #1 ---I don?t know how big or small your grocery business is but the first thing you should do is get a professional and accurate estimate of its realistic market value. This might range from ?liquidation value? i.e. value of the inventory minus any/all debt, lease obligations, etc. --- to a ?going concern? business valuation. Best source for this valuation is an honest and experienced Business Broker who will probably do it for nothing in anticipation of getting a listing if/when you and your wife elect to sell.

    #2 --- Shoot the lawyer who represented you in the divorce for gross incompetence and for condemning you, and most probably your ex-wife, to a life in hell!

    #3 --- Based upon what you come up with for a realistic valuation your decision might be easy --- such as, if it is a small corner Mom-Pop type store on leased property, etc. and only earns enough to cover your and your ex-wife?s reasonable wages and has leases on the real estate, cash registers and Accounts Payable equal to the inventory, etc. ---- the value is most probably close to zilch and might just not show up for work one day and head for the South Pacific and find a nice little grass shack and await your ex-wife?s offer of ?x? dollars to sign over your interest so that she can sell it, etc. ? i.e. it then becomes her problem to solve.

    #4 --- If the value is a considerable figure then you need to find a good lawyer who can handle the situation as there are many, many court cases in which 50/50 partners cannot agree, etc. and one can force the other into a courtroom where a judge will decide what needs to be done.

    Good Luck and if you ever think about getting re-married, the best and most immediate cure is to find some woman that you really dislike and give her 50% of everything you own!

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