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What Would Bing Do?

The business world is a dangerous place. Need help? Ask Stanley.

Disinherited From the Family Business. Now What?

November 18th, 2009 @ 6:00 am

0 Comments

Categories: Death, Lawyers, Work/Home Dichotomy

Tags: Father, Heir, Salary, Benefits, Payroll Solutions, Personal Finance, Human Resources, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

I am the president of my father’s company. Up until two years ago, I was the heir apparent to own and operate the company after his death. Due to a conflict between himself and my wife, he has mentioned that he changed his trust and will not tell me how this affects my future with the company. He has mentioned that my future ownership will be based on my performance but will not tell me the criteria involved in his decision. Based on what I’ve learned, he has changed his trust and appointed trustees to make the corporate decisions after his death. To make a long story short, those particular people are not supporters of mine. I do have a good job and am paid a modest salary with average bonuses. But I’m fearful that after my father’s death, my position with the company will be in jeopardy. Thoughts?

Signed,

Disinherited

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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Should I Take Sides in a Boss-on-Boss Turf War?

November 16th, 2009 @ 6:31 am

0 Comments

Categories: Back Stabbing, Competition, Office Politics

Tags: Manager, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

I’ve recently become aware of a turf war going on between my current manager and another manager. The two really don’t like each other. I really believe the other manager wants to muscle my boss out of the picture, and I want to align myself with the right person. Do I go for loyalty and defend my boss? Should I try to get in good with the other guy? Or should I just keep my head down and wait to see how it plays out?

Signed,

Mini-Machiavelli

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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Bad Hygiene Isn't an Oversight -- It's Her Strategy

November 13th, 2009 @ 6:53 am

1 Comment

Categories: Group Dynamics, Ludicrous Colleagues, Malignant Narcissists

Tags: Strategy, Group, Smell, Privacy, Security, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

A co-worker reeks of cat box and some days are worse than others. A kindlier soul than I has spoken to her gently but she’s dismissed suggestions and admonitions. At times, the smell is so intense I become nauseous. Others noted her odiferous presence with less kindness, directly to the management, but nothing’s been done. Although she’s a competent worker, she apparently can’t smell herself. What can be done?

Signed,

Nosed Off

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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CEOs and Facebook: What's Too Much Information?

November 3rd, 2009 @ 4:12 pm

1 Comment

Categories: Drugs, Rock 'n Roll, Sex, Work/Home Dichotomy, Workplace Etiquette

Tags: Facebook, CEO, Chip, Semiconductors, Network Technology, Hardware, Networking, Stanley Bing

Today I thought I’d answer the question Chip Conley asked BNET readers about a CEO’s private life and Facebook. Chip is the CEO of Joie de Vivre, a very cool hospitality company that runs a variety of extremely chic hostelries. I myself have stayed in some of them, and I assure you nothing about the CEO of the corporation interested me in the least while I was there. I did like the free happy hour wine and cheese, though. But Chip raises an interesting question about CEO imagery that I think is worth considering for a few minutes.

The controversy is this: Chip is a bit of an alternative lifestyle fellow, and as such, every few years attends the Burning Man rave thing in the middle of nowhere. It’s sort of the Davos for hipster business types who want to achieve high levels of consciousness with a dash of Native American spirituality thrown into their high capitalist hoodoo. It’s also attended by showbiz types, Zen networkers, and crazy people looking for sex, drugs, and what have you. Think Daytona Beach at spring break mingled with Lalapalooza with a dash of Carlos Castaneda thrown in. So Chip went there and took his shirt off and pictures were taken, some of which he posted on his own Facebook page. (Here I’m going to ignore my natural condescending repugnance at people over 30 who post stuff on Facebook and move on.)

Suddenly there were pictures of the CEO of Joie de Vivre looking slightly wrecked all over the Internet, available to any employee, customer, or random surfer who cared to look. Horrors! I think we’re all very fortunate that Chip chose to air only the shirtless pix. I guarantee you there were others. Naked is the new informal-wear at Burning Man. Once the pictures were up there, Chip ran into some flak from his HR and PR people, who felt his behavior was unbecoming to the august persona of CEO of a company dedicated to the hedonistic pleasures of its customers. This seems ridiculous to me. But then, I’m not his PR guy. Chip poses the philosophical question this way:

“What, exactly, does it take to damage the image of the company? Sometimes it’s straightforward — employees can’t, for example, write about trade secrets — but other times, it’s not. What if pictures emerge of a desk host drinking from a beer bong at a football game, or decked out in an S&M getup at an underground club? I’d have no problem with that, although I know plenty of CEOs who would. To me, that’s an employee’s private life. Take it a step farther — the employee is shown stealing municipal signs, for instance — and I would have a problem with it. Even worse would be if that employee is wearing a Joie de Vivre shirt. In other words, it’s a case-by-case basis. … I do think it’s important that companies have a social media policy, and I don’t think I violated the one my company just rolled out. Should a CEO be held to a different standard?”

Some thoughts here. First of all, Chip is right: in this instance, a company shirt would be worse than no shirt. A few years ago, I worked for a cable company that employed a variety of types to install cable. If you’ve ever had cable installed, you know what I mean. One of our installers made the front page of the New York Post, where he was pictured with two machine guns, one in each hand, and matching bandoleros draped across his chest. The article noted this gentleman’s place of employment deep within the body of the article. Just five minutes before the picture was taken, he had removed his shirt, the one with the company logo on its chest. Believe me, we all breathed a sigh of relief at corporate headquarters. You don’t want the company’s brand mixed up with any funny business. So Chip’s shirtlessness was, in a business sense, far less egregious than if he had mixed up his brand with that of his firm.

Secondly, Chip asks whether he, as CEO, had set up a double standard vis a vis the company’s social media policy. I don’t know. He says he hasn’t. He’s the boss. I guess that means he hasn’t. I can tell you that it’s a rare company indeed that can keep its employees from expressing their Burning Man personalities on the web. People have to use judgment, of course. But appearing goofy, messed up, and covered with sand and goodwill is not illegal as far as I can tell.

So speaking narrowly, I would say that Chip is on solid ground. He should stop tormenting himself and tell his HR and PR guys to get a sense of humor. They work for this particular CEO. This is his personality. Instead of making him feel bad about himself, they might think about how to leverage his oddities into part of the brand identity. How about an ad with a picture of Chip topless and copy that reads, “This is our CEO. We want you to have as good a time as he does. Joie de Vivre”?

There is a larger issue here, though; one that Mr. Conley might spend some time thinking about if he’d like to. (If he doesn’t want to, of course, he can bag it. Like I said, he runs the place. And that’s the point.) There are things a leader can do that will forever diminish him in the eyes of those with whom he works. The wrong picture, the wrong action, can strip him or her of the aura of authority in which much of his power resides. Imagine Winston Churchill appearing in the press in a bathing suit. Would he still have been able to address his nation in precisely the same way? I think not. On the other hand, I don’t think anybody would think less of Barak Obama if he was seen swimming off Oahu. Why? Because Mr. Obama probably looks awesome and dignified in a tasteful swimsuit, and Mr. Churchill would not. On the other hand, people routinely saw Churchill with an entire bottle of brandy in him. He was clearly intoxicated by noon on many days. Nobody minded much. If you saw President Obama listing slightly on his way into a state dinner? Completely out of character. Disquieting. Destabilizing.

It’s all about the individual leader, the style they have set up for themselves, and whether the employees’ expectation of predictable behavior is being violated. In Chip’s case, I bet his employees know he’s a bit of a party animal. He looks downright saucy in his picture, too. Not an ounce of fat on the boy. Good for him. If he should worry about anything, it’s probably that demented expression and the wacky glasses, which are a lot more questionable than his buffness. A naked man can make all kinds of proper business decisions. A goofball, on the other hand…

Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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Salary vs. Employment Contract -- Should I Sign?

October 29th, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

2 Comments

Categories: Bogus Economics, Butt Covering, Compensation

Tags: Commission, Salary, Employment Contract, Sales Force Management, Benefits, Sales, Human Resources, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

What are your thoughts on employment contracts? I’ve been with my company happily for several years on a salary. Now I am being asked to sign a contract and to switch to commission. It seems generous enough, although a bit less secure than the salary and bonus structure that I’m used to. But mostly, I’m wondering why the company suddenly wants everyone on commission and if there are ramifications to the employment contract (i.e., is it easier to let me go?). Help!

Signed,

Suddenly Insecure

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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How Do I Fend Off an Exasperating Job Candidate?

October 22nd, 2009 @ 7:11 pm

0 Comments

Categories: Butt Covering, Malignant Narcissists

Tags: Job, Recruitment & Selection, Human Resources, Workforce Management, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

A new job just opened up in my department and I’ve been given the task of interviewing candidates for the position. The issue is this: there’s a woman who used to work here. She left maybe five years ago to open her own operation, and it didn’t do very well. Now she’s looking for a job, any job, and she won’t leave me alone. She has e-mailed me about the post maybe six or seven times already. I answered each time, telling her that it’s a long process and I would keep her in mind when I recommend people to my bosses. That’s not enough for her. She insists on coming in and having an interview. So I told her okay, I would let her know. She then wrote several letters to various people, going around me, which annoyed me. Then she had the wife of a board member call the president! He said it was up to me, but please treat her with respect and so forth. There’s one thing I know: I don’t want to recommend this person. It’s been years since she’s been in the swim. She was never a top player to begin with. And her behavior right now makes me feel like she’s a nightmare. But I’m afraid that dealing with her during the process and afterwards, when she doesn’t get the job, is going to be horrendous. Is there anything I can do to ease her pain … and mine?

Signed,

Too Annoyed for Empathy

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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How Do I Hide a Job Interview From My Evil Boss?

October 13th, 2009 @ 10:13 am

8 Comments

Categories: Butt Covering, Career, Crazy Bosses

Tags: Job Search, Boss, Job Interview, Recruitment & Selection, Professional Development, Career, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

I work in consulting and my boss is well known in the industry but working for him is like working for Vader. I’ve been looking around and found a good position in another firm where my college buddy works. The catch is that the prospective employer used to work with Mr. Vader a long time ago and knows him very well. How should I approach this employer without my current boss knowing it?

Signed,

Under Cover Man

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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Do Employees Disrespect a Funny Boss?

October 5th, 2009 @ 6:27 am

1 Comment

Categories: Group Dynamics, Morale, Motivation

Tags: Laugh, Boss, Branding, Leadership, Marketing, Management, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

As a boss with a sense of humor, do you find that making people laugh in the office can make it harder to get them to do what needs to be done? The progressive approach to leadership would seem to be: Be firm but friendly, putting employees at ease with a laugh or two if one has the skill to do so appropriately. (Let’s leave the priest/minister/rabbi joke teller out of this for now.) People enjoy working for someone who finds humor in the 9 to 5 (or 8 to 7), work hard for that person and stick around awhile. But some employees take anything less than a consistently hard exterior as a sign of vulnerability and behave accordingly. Maybe we should just can those people. But, you know, in a funny way.

Signed,

Afraid to Laugh

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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Passive Aggressive Boss -- or Sexist Jerk?

October 1st, 2009 @ 3:22 pm

1 Comment

Categories: Crazy Bosses, Manipulation, Sexism

Tags: Employee, Boss, Gender And Diversity, Productivity, Recruitment & Selection, Human Resources, Workforce Management, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

My boss is uber passive aggressive. One day he’s nice as can be, the next he completely ignores me and yells at the slightest mistake. Every day is dependent on his mood. Most days he praises his other employee while completely ignoring me. If he does speak, it’s to tell me I’ve done something wrong (and if I haven’t, he’ll change his policy to make me wrong). The other employee makes mistakes and it’s “No biggie, it’s okay,” whereas if I made the same mistake there’d be hell to pay. The other person has been there only six months and works part time. I’ve been there four years working full time. I do a substantial amount of the work and I work hard, always trying to please him. He doesn’t act this way every day, but he does it a lot. I can’t figure out what puts him in a bad way that makes him turn on me. Read the rest of this entry »

Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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My Crazy Boss Insults Everybody

September 28th, 2009 @ 6:06 am

28 Comments

Categories: Confusion Under Fire, Crazy Bosses, Managing Up, Office Zen

Tags: Zen, Boss, E-mail, Recruitment & Selection, Online Communications, Human Resources, Workforce Management, Stanley Bing

Dear Stanley,

A co-worker recently requested to go part time due to daycare/family needs. She gave 7 weeks advance notice and was approved for part-time status. The co-worker started her first day in part-time status and got a email from her immediate boss saying that she was disappointed in her for letting down the team and that she would be required to perform the same amount of work as full-time employees because her decision left the team in the lurch. The clincher is that this email was sent from the boss’s personal email to the employee’s personal email. Later it was revealed that the boss was due to receive a hiring bonus for bringing on this full-time employee. Apparently she was denied the payout because the employee switched to part-time status. This boss routinely insults everybody, by the way, and the whole environment is verbally abusive. Suggestions?

Signed,

Outraged

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Stanley Bing is the bestselling author of Executricks, What Would Machiavelli Do?, Sun Tzu Was a Sissy, 100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them, and many other books. For more Bing wisdom read his monthly column in Fortune and visit stanleybing.com.



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