Through my contacts in the business book industry, I obtained some draft sample chapters from a book proposal allegedly authored by Bernie Madoff, the alleged purveyor of the world’s greatest Ponzi scheme.
So far I’ve posted the first chapter, the second chapter, a promotional video and a children’s spin-off product. Below is the third and final (alas!) chapter. Please note that Madoff apparently wrote this sample chapter prior to the outcome of the recent election. Enjoy!
CHAPTER 3: SUPPORT YOUR GOVERNMENT
A lot of sales professionals think their customers are best served if the market regulates itself.
Wotta buncha dopes!
The people who benefit from unregulated markets are those of us who know how to make a quick buck (or better yet big bucks) playing on the general gullibility of the public.
It’s in therefore in your interest to help elect people (of either party) who actually believe that government regulation is a bad idea — and can convince gullible voters that it’s a bad idea.
Now, because only a lunkhead thinks that the voting public is well served by letting financial wizards run hog wild, we should work to ensure that as many lunkheads as possible are in positions of power within government.
Obviously, the best and most useful lunkheads are the ones who are either extremely likable or extremely religious, and preferably both. [[
Note to editor: Revise this after election?]]Needless to say, you’ll find a lot more of these types in the Republican party than the Democratic party, but (let’s face it) there are plenty to go around!
An extra advantage of supporting plenty of lunkheads is that if you ever happen to break any laws, you’ll have plenty of friends who will keep you out of jail.
Likable lunkheads! Your ticket to prosperity, with a “Stay Out of Jail Free” card thrown in.
This afternoon, I’ll post the very last (hooray!) promotional materials for this (hopefully) illuminating book project.
The Bernie Madoff Book Proposal
