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Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

October 15th, 2009 @ 5:30 am

28 Comments

Categories: Closing, Cold Calls, Motivation, Sales Tips

Tags: Rejection, Sales Strategy, Sales Force Management, Sales, Geoffrey James

Here’s a key secret to sales success: rejection isn’t real

You heard me right. Rejection is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. It’s an half-baked attempt by your brain to impose a reason for an event that has nothing to do with you.

If you can free your mind from that illusion, you’ll be far more successful in sales.

Let me explain.

Fear of rejection is the bane of sales success. If rejections scare you, you’ll avoid cold-calling, balk at hard bargaining and hesitate to close.

Suppose you make a cold call and the prospect hangs up on you. While that’s a textbook definition of “rejection”, the truth is that the prospect’s reaction has nothing to do with you.

What’s actually happened is that you accidentally broke the prospect’s rules. You had no way of knowing that the prospect was busy and that the prospect thinks it’s OK to hang up on unfamiliar callers.

Now it may very well be true that if you said something different or called at a different time, you might have made a sale, but that’s just a fiction that you’re making up in your mind.

If you had called at a different time, the prospect might just as easily have added a expletive before hanging up and then sent a memo directing the company to never buy from you ever again.

The prospect’s reaction really didn’t have anything to do you with personally, because anybody else taking the same action at the same time would have gotten the exact same result. You simply you took an action that didn’t work.

The “rejection” part of the story is just a hallucination that your emotions are creating in order to “explain” what happened.

The problem with fear of rejection is that, once it’s got hold of you, it gets stronger and more debilitating the higher you set your sights.

Once you realize that “rejection” is just an illusion, you can focus on noticing what works and what doesn’t, and on changing your approach to make the most of what you’ve got to offer.

READERS: Do you get this concept?  It’s pretty darn important.

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  •  
    1

    fmoreno.m2000

    10/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Yesterday: Rejection = Money

    Today: Rejection = Illusion

    That's progress. I like it.

    I already changed the post-it on my computer monitor, bathroom mirror and car windshield!

    I hope you won't say tomorrow: Money = Illusion wink

  •  
    2

    myinli

    10/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    I reject your thesis.

  •  
    3

    jimmarkunas

    10/15/09 | Report as spam

    Good Point!

    I agree whole-heartedly. I reject people 100% of the time and
    get rejected 50% of the time. I'm just a "hard-on" in the
    metaphorical sense.

    Jim - editor-in-chief - rel="nofollow" href="http://www.cwgmagazine.com">CWG Magazine

  •  
    4

    NewBoots

    10/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Geoffrey,

    I get it, I agree it's important, and it's as good a life lesson as it is professional advice. But since we're professionals and this is BNET - in my (limited) experience, this goes not just for sales, but for office politics. What an amateur might perceive as rejection from a colleague could actually be something else altogether. It's like your cold-calling example. You have to look at the motivation. Did I approach this person wrong? How do they prefer to be communicated with?

    I'd be interested to hear others' feedback on the subject.

  •  
    5

    J. Clif

    10/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    I reply, which may receive a rejection, but that is only a temporarily unwanted answer. But it does exist. It is real. The task was not completed due to the recepient not responding to your reply. No matter how small or large, personal or contextual, just keep trying... taking in mind a lessen that the first attempt (for some reason) didn't succeed. I don't agree with it as an illusion, but maybe as a misbelief or exagerrated reply that the response was not a final one... just an erasable or repairable one. Learn from every attempt, listen to your recepient, and adjust your stategy or approach. If you say rejection is an illusion, your insensitivity to your clients may cause the temporary hangups to become final.

  •  
    6

    JSolomon2

    10/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    I agree with your view. I think to many people take things personally, because it happens to them. They do not see it as two lines crossing each other. We then to take on the other persons behavior as having something to do with us. It may and then on the other hand it may not. In sells it, it's important to have a good sense of self.

    JHS2

  •  
    7

    WhenHerbSpeaks

    10/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    To answer your "READERS: DO YOU GET THIS CONCEPT?" Yes...I GET this concept. Operative word "CONCEPT". Allow me, please, to get on the scale and weigh-in here: I think it's a variation on the old "is the glass half empty or half full?" or "do you intimidate me, or am I intimidated by you?" theories. Were we rejected? Or was is just bad timing? Did they not like me or did they not like my product? Bottom Line: If they didn't "accept"...they "rejected". Period. However....It's not the REJECTION that's the issue here. It's the FEAR. And it's the FEAR that can be debilitating. Here's a very valuable piece of wisdom that someone shared with me....way back when: "Fear is your friend". Fear is what makes us NOT walk straight into the ocean and drown. Fear is what keeps us from holding our hand over a flame. So....instead of picking apart the "rejection" part. Change the perspective on the fear part. Make it a numbers game. Leave the emotion, the fear, and the personalization out of it totally. Just say ..."Next"...and move on. Capece?

  •  
    8

    middleaged

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. - Susan Jeffers.

  •  
    9

    chris.sargent

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    maybe the initial hang up was a test - 90% of people would give up after that 'rejection'... maybe ring back and get a sale...?!

  •  
    10

    anurodh_sharma1@...

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Rejection fears are more in mind than in reality. Especially in sales since it is an ongoing process during cold calling & followup calls, one comes across various situations when one may feel rejected for no reason as such. This is mainly on account of self esteem and negative thinking rather than any other reason. Remember in circle from centre there are 360 degrees of angles. similarily there can be 360 reasons for the client to react negatively. Salesperson maybe one of them but in all likelihood it may be one of 359 other reasons.

  •  
    11

    Onyx100

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    I agree completely with WhenHerbSpeaks - It is a numbers game and it is simply a case on next and move on! the more you speak with the more chance of success you will have. Its the FEAR which will prevent you from making that call in the first place or asking for the order. Just think to yourself.. " what do I have to loose by asking?"

  •  
    12

    MOToole16

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Very nice post, well done. To take it further, if rejection is your obstcle to selling, then you have to question do you really believe in what you are selling?

  •  
    13

    powderlyv

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    F-E-A-R

    FALSE
    EXPECTATIONS
    APPEARING
    REAL

    Enough said!

  •  
    14

    michael.millslagel@...

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    In the glass is half full or empty example - there are more options available. The glass is twice as big as it needed to be. Or perhaps, the glass was full and someone drank out of the glass, assuming the liquid in question was consumable. Or someone was filling the glass to the top and the phone rang so the person filling the went away for the moment and forgot about the glass they were filling, so you are actually looking at a job not completed. It has nothing to do with rejection - just the story we tell.

  •  
    15

    Joel Symmes

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Of course, they are not rejecting you personally. How could they, they
    have no basis for that? They are rejecting what you are representing, a
    product, a service, something that you care (presumably) enough about
    to invest your time and effort to promote.

    I think the real issue here is that it often takes 50 "no's" to get to one
    "yes". Most are discouraged by this ratio. The rejection, even to the
    most well balanced attitudes are worn down and feel discouraged. I
    believe we all want to see results for our efforts and perhaps changing
    the method or approach to selling might be more rewarding and more
    fruitful.

  •  
    16

    RobieAFL

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Rejection just means, I caught you on a bad day, the phase of the moon is wrongs. Oh! you want me to call you back in a week or two. Guaranteed, you will not remember the call

  •  
    17

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Re Note 14:
    My take is usually: "That glass needs some ice."

  •  
    18

    WhenHerbSpeaks

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Cheers to that one, capitan. (Pronounced Cap-eee-tan). Happy Hour starts at 4:30 today. First round's on me, MC Geoff. Bring #14 along with you. To respond to #12: It may NOT be one's non-belief in what they're selling...but there is a cause for analysis of that perspective. Think of the hyper-testosteroned macho man who goes from babe-to-babe (prospect to prospect) at the bar. He's quite the cocky one. His attitude about the ones who reject him, his English Leather and faux gold chains is..."Hey, The don't know what they're missing." By the end of the night, he may very well have made a sale. And a "Happy Ending" to the story it will be. POST NOTE: To quote the great Michael Jordan: "Everyone pays attention to the baskets I make...I pay attention to the ones I don't".

  •  
    19

    Radney

    10/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Susan Jeffers I agree. I think the whole point here is to eliminate the concept of rejection from your thought process. If you get a hang up, assess what happened, change the approach, and go back at it. Regardless if it is cold calling, door knocking or sending letters. Eliminate the, "oh, they must not be interested in me or my product", thought. One approach is not going to work for all people and I think that is the point Geoffery is trying to make. Stop believing in rejection and start believing in your next approach.

  •  
    20

    TactixSales

    10/17/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Good stuff. Fear of failure is the most debilitating disease known to sales people. It has been the inspiration for more creative sales forecasts than the law should allow. Rejection happens. But it's almost never personal and it is rarely rooted in truth or fact. And that's what makes it a silly illusion.

  •  
    21

    JacquesWerth

    10/18/09 | Report as spam

    I Finally Agree (patially) with Geoffrey James

    Salespeople do no more ?hallucinating? than other people. In fact, they tend to be rather astute at communication. When they feel rejected it is because they have been rejected.

    That a prospect hangs up on you is not ?a textbook definition of rejection.? It?s merely one type of rejection, which happens during less than ten percent of contacts the average salesperson makes. Most salespeople would not have much of a problem if rejection was limited to that ten percent. However, it is during most of the other contacts they make when more serious rejection occurs.

    The most frequently occurring rejection is when the prospect?s response is clearly a personal rejection, whether subtle or overt. The prospect may become non-responsive or display annoyance, frustration, sarcasm, anger spite or abusiveness. That type of rejection is very difficult for most salespeople to deal with because it is real rejection. Salespeople who experience that kind of treatment and ?do not believe in rejection? are hallucinating.

    Sales managers and sales trainers who urge salespeople to ignore personal rejection, to develop a thick-skin, or to get over their fear of failure, do not provide a cure for the problem. That just prolongs the agony.


    The way that salespeople ?cold-call? is the primary cause of rejection. They have been taught to engage everyone they talk to and not take ?No? for an answer. They are taught to overcome every negative response and push for an appointment. That kind of treatment makes prospects (people like you and me) feel pressured and disrespected. Ask anyone how they react to that kind of pushy, manipulative salesperson. We react by rejecting them.

    The most ironic thing about cold-calling is that when you do get an appointment, it is usually with someone who will not buy. There are ways of doing telephone prospecting that eliminate most rejection and result in far higher closing rates.

  •  
    22

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    10/18/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Re Note 21:
    I'm in complete disagreement with this viewpoint and will explain why in one of Monday's posts.

  •  
    23

    WhenHerbSpeaks

    10/18/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Alriiiight....Schoolyard Fight!!! Go EZ on him, Geoff. At least he "patially" agreed with you. And, after all, he's French! I would be curious, however, (it's almost Halloween so call it my morbid curiosity) to hear the "ways" he knows to eliminate virtually all rejection when doing telephone prospecting. So much depends on timing (the moment), the need, the approach, the chemistry, etc. I'm always open to hearing new methods. Maybe Jacques can give me a call and we'll see if I accept or reject his presentation. It would be a good exercise. I'm all ears : )

  •  
    24

    VaniaIbiza

    10/19/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Yes, and No. And both whole heartedly. This is a refreshing way of looking at it.

    Plus:
    I guess this holds true in most cases.

    But:
    Every good sales person also must know when it's high time to parachute out if you get me.

    Not all sales can be made by perseverance... Actually, in some cases, perseverance can do more damage than good.
    However, I liked the article anyway as it is a pat on back of every sales which we can do with every now and then.

    Distance is a good approach to work.

    Thanks for this.
    Chrys

  •  
    25

    StaffingKing

    10/19/09 | Report as spam

    The illusion that im sucking at my job?

    I dont agree, the illusion theory has been around for years you can apply it to just about anything and everything in life, work, money, relationships, etc. While its simplicity is what makes it so appealing to embrace, the truth is if your getting hung up on you need to switch something up in your sales calls. Unless you enjoy the "illusion" of getting pink slipped.

  •  
    26

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    10/19/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Re Note 25:
    See today's post:

    http://blogs.bnet.com/salesmachine/?p=6052

    Sticking the term "rejection" onto a tactic or situation that didn't work out is just adding unnecessary negative emotional color. As does, by the way, obsessing about losing your job. You measure; you adjust. All the drama and agony about "rejection" is just wasted energy.

  •  
    27

    middleaged

    10/20/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    Disagree with note 21.

    If you cold call someone and they don't want what you have, thats it. They don't want it.

    Sometimes they mean

    Not now
    Go away I'm busy
    you're the 14th person today that called me - give me a break
    and 101 other reasons.

    It may also be because they didn't like you and thought you were a complete idiot - so what?

    Whatever THEIR reason, there is no need for you to take it personally. You are paid by your company to call people, to get appointments, to sell. If they don't like it - that is their problem - don't make it yours.

    On the second point, I have made lots of sales to people that I have cold called. I have researched them, profiled them, often sent an introductory email beforehand, but ultimately cold called. Some of these people, I am still getting sales from.

    Cold calling is still a legitimate way to generate business, provided you do it well, and above all don't take it personally.

  •  
    28

    Realty Man

    10/20/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Do You Believe in Rejection? Too Bad.

    I believe in rejection, it is real. Now if you said fear of rejection is an illusion I'd totally agree. It's not rejection that holds us back, it is FEAR. Get emotion out of your sales mind, and you'll live longer, too. I only sell products I believe in so it's the customer's loss not mine.

    You can tell me no all day, I don't care. Words never hurt, NO is just the opposite of YES. Yes is what I want to hear so I just keep rolling until I hear it.

    That's how we sell more, accept it and keep going forward towards the yes.

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