It’s official. The brand marketeers have gone totally off the twist. Call the men in white coats.
For decades, brand marketeers have hosted corporate events. These events are supposed to build good will among the customer base, but in fact are colossal wastes of money, with unmeasurable results.
You’d think, given the hard times, that companies would cancel such useless events. And you’d think that, of all companies, the banks that took bailout money would be the last to sponsor such boondoggles.
But you’d think wrong, buckaroo.
Here’s what they did instead. According to a recent article in the New York Times, the marketeers for the banks decided to go ahead and host the boondoggles — but then keep their names secret from the customers!!
Now, just a second here… Wasn’t the point of these branded corporate events to publicize the brand?!?
Such events are, of course, a complete waste of money, but for cryin’ out loud, if you’re going to host a branded event, what is the freakin’ point if nobody knows you’re hosting it?
It’s like marketing straight out of Bizarro World. “Me host branded event; not let anyone know. Me market strategist.”
The reason the bank marketeers gave for burying the brand names was that they didn’t want anyone to know that they were spending money frivolously, considering the negative feelings that people have about the banking sector.
Apparently it didn’t occur to these nitwits that anonymous branding events might be newsworth enough to command the lead article on the front page of the business section of the New York Times.
More marketing from Bizarro World. “Me hide marketing spending. Me host event and invite New York Times. Me market strategist.”
What next? I mean, seriously, WTF next?!? Sponsoring television shows, but with no ads and no product placements? Buying ads in newspapers and leaving it as white space? Totally blank product packaging, like the “Black Album” in Spinal Tap?
It’s time we admitted the obvious truth… that the brand marketeers have gone completely freakin’ insane.
Or, as they say in Bizarro World: “Me host corporate event. Get lots of bad publicity. Now me host new event at Shady Acres Booby Hatch. Me market strategist.”
