Yesterday, I ran a poll on “Which Candidate Would Make a Better Sales Manager.” Today’s post contains my answers and observations on this subject, so if you haven’t voted in the poll, please click over to THIS POST and do so. Then come back, if you’re interested in my take on the subject.
First, I want to make it clear that I honestly don’t know what it takes to be a good President, so my reasoning IN NO WAY applies to the political contest. I’m just talking about the Sales Manager job, and that alone, so please don’t try to read between the lines, because there’s nothing there to read. OK?
I think John McCain would make a fine Sales Manager. Here’s why:
- He’s got family connections. It’s been said that the only way he got into the Naval Academy was because his father and grandfather were four-star admirals, and today he’s flush with connections in the beer industry. Since I completely lack any usable family connections, I want a Sales Manager who is has some strings to pull when something needs to get done.
- He’s not all that bright. McCain graduated 894th in a class of 899 at the Navel Academy, thinks Iraq and Afghanistan share a border, thinks Al Qaeda is a Shiite organization, and doesn’t know how many houses he owns. And that’s fine with me. The last thing I want is a Sales Manager who is smarter than I am and thinks he knows my job better than I do.
- He’s knows when to kiss up. When McCain campaigned in 2000, his opponent used racial slurs to defeat him in a key race. A few years later, he was hugging the man who laid the low blows. I want a Sales Manager who doesn’t hold a grudge and will kiss major tuchus (even Marketing tuchus) when it’s for the good of the team.
- He knows when to play ball. In 1989, the Senate Ethics committee criticized McCain for exercising “poor judgment” in regard to the Savings and Loan scandal, which ended up costing taxpayers around $125 billion dollars. That sounds like a bad thing, but I want a Sales Manager who’s not afraid to make sure the home team gets paid.
- He’s utterly ruthless. He dropped his wheelchair-bound first wife for a hot, young, rich blond who could help his political career. Personally, I think his decision was a bit harsh, but… truth to tell, I want a Sales Manager who’s not afraid to give a non-performer the boot as soon as someone better comes along.
Contrariwise, I think Barack Obama would be a lousy Sales Manager. Here’s why:
- He uses too many words. Ask Obama a question in a debate and you get a long and thoughtful answer. That’s would be boring during a sales meeting and deadly during a customer call. I have the feeling that making a sales call with Obama might end up being a “death by powerpoint” moment.
- He thinks in nuances. Customers don’t want complicated solutions to complex problems. They want simple solutions to complex problems. When you pin Obama down on specific issues, you get a complicated answer, free of jingoism. He’s more like an engineer or economist than a sales professional.
- When he speaks, he speechifies. Maybe I’ve been through too many management fads, but Obama’s stump speech sounds like it ought to be on a office poster with a eagle and a sunset in the background. I don’t want a Sales Manager to inspire me; I want one who’ll get the job done.
- He’s way too charismatic. Getting massive crowds of people excited may be fine on the campaign trail, but I don’t want a Sales Manager who is a hundred times more charismatic than I am. I want the client to see me as the superhero and my Sales Manager as my sidekick, not the other way round.
- He takes forever to close. The democratic primary season dragged on and on and on. I kept expecting Obama to close the deal, but there was Hillary, popping up her pantsuit, every time he was on the edge of winning. If a Sales Manager comes on a sales call to help me close, I want somebody who can close that deal, and fast.
Anyway, that’s how I see it. In a sales situation, I’d rather have McCain than Obama in the manager’s seat.
As for the Presidency, I have no idea which guy would be better. I will say this, though. I think our current president would have made an excellent Sales Manager. And there have been times when I’ve wished that he had that job rather than the one he has now.
Comments welcome, of course.
