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Bernie Madoff's Sales Secret #1

December 29th, 2008 @ 7:31 am

Categories: Career Development, Humor, Marketing, Pitches, Sales Process, Sales Skills, Sales Tips, Watercooler

Tags: Brand, Bernie Madoff, Branding, Sales Strategy, Marketing, Sales, Geoffrey James

Weekend at Bernies

Through my contacts in the business book industry, I obtained some draft sample chapters from a book proposal allegedly authored by Bernie Madoff, the alleged purveyor of the world’s greatest Ponzi scheme.  Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1: YOU ARE THE BRAND

A lot of sales professionals think that people buy because of the reputation of their firm or their products.

Wotta buncha dopes!

Product branding and corporate branding might convince people to buy laundry detergent, but when if you’re gonna sell something that’s complicated — especially if it’s too complicated for the customer to easily understand — then you, my friend, are the brand.

Yes, the customer is buying YOU — who you are, how you look, how you talk, how you act, and what you say.   All the rest of that branding stuff is just so much bull puckey.

Look, the only reason that anyone is going to buy anything complicated from YOU (as opposed to the guy down the street) is that the prospect thinks you’re better, smarter, and more reliable.

That means that YOU gotta be the expert.  YOU gotta to have the right appearance.  YOU gotta know when to talk and when to shut the heck up.  It’s all about YOU.

So forget about that marketing budget.  Forget about that pricey ad campaign.  Forget about the product, even.

Heck, if you make yourself enough of a brand, you can even sell something that’s completely impossible, like stock investments that consistently pay double digit returns year after year.

You can even get government regulators to act like braindead nodding bobbleheads.  [[Note to lawyer: OK to put in book?? B.M.]]

Brand.  It’s all about YOU.  Don’t ever forget it.

Stay tuned for additional chapters later this week.

The Bernie Madoff Book Proposal

 
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    1

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    12/31/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Bernie Madoff's Sales Secret #1

    From a reader:




    not funny and actually offensive. I feel sorry for you. Insulting people won't bring you any friends.

  •  
    2

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    12/31/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Bernie Madoff's Sales Secret #1

    From a reader:

    The world is a mess. Its like a fun house of smoke and mirrors. Who can one trust? Good signs of trustworthiness have just been proven wrong.
    Maddoff is one of the magicians but large corporations, government.

    It used to be good sense to do business with someone you know, or someone recommended.
    Third party audits always instilled confidence. Longevity; that was a sign of a good business.

    How do you overcome doubts in a day when your own brother would dupe you.

    I am asking from a sales perspective. I think this trust thing has been sucker punched and I think 09 is going to have to be a year of redemption.



    I'm in favor of starting from a position of skepticism about anything that sounds too good to be true (regardless of who's telling it to you) combined with sensible government regulation for those who are too foolish to do their own due diligence.

  •  
    3

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    12/31/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Bernie Madoff's Sales Secret #1

    Note: Comment #1 was from a financial adviser in who apparently thinks it's in bad taste for me to make fun of the Madoff situation.

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  • Blogger Thumbnail Geoffrey James Geoffrey James has sold and written hundreds of features, articles and columns for national publications including Wired, Men's Health, Business 2.0, SellingPower, Brand World, Computer Gaming World, CIO, The New York Times and (of course) BNET. He is the author of seven books, including Business Wisdom of the Electronic Elite (translated into seven languages and selected by four book clubs), and The Tao of Programming (widely quoted on the Web as a "canonical book of... more »

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