A reader writes:
Geoffrey, I’ve been reading your posts about not being afraid of customers. But I’ve got a customer who clearly likes beating people up — figuratively speaking. He yells at his staff and he yells at me and I guess he probably yells at everybody else too. I hate calling on him, but my management insists that its my account and I ahve to deal with it. What should I do?
Good question. Short answer: “Grow a Backbone.” Let me explain…
There is no question that there are some people who can only feel big by making other people feel small. They’re called bullies. And there is only one way to deal with a bully. You MUST stand up to them and refuse to be bullied.
There are two reasons for this. First, if let yourself be bullied, the bullying will continue. Second, and more importantly, the bully will only respect you if you stand up to him.
I once worked for a woman who worked for a bully. He pushed everyone on his staff around, except my boss. I thought this was very interesting, so I watched carefully to see what was happening.
She simply refused to be bullied. When everyone else was placating the guy, she just sat back and said nothing. When he yelled at her, she yelled back. When he insulted her, she told him to “cut the crap and get back to the problem.”
One interaction remains particularly vivid. He demanded that everyone work over Easter weekend on some stupid project of his. She told him to, uh…, commit an unnatural act upon himself.
Did it take courage? Sure. Not to put too fine a point on it, she had more cojones than all the male staffers combined.
But here’s the really interesting part. My boss was the only staffer that the bully respected. He really listened to her and took her opinions seriously. He trusted her far more than the “yes men” with which he surrounded himself.
And when corporate layoff time came (as it always does in companies that allow internal bullying), guess who was the last staffer to go?
Hint: it was the one who had a backbone.
When it comes to your own situation, think of it this way. If you stand up for yourself and refuse to be bullied, what’s the worst that can happen? You might lose that customer and (worst case) lose your job.
So freakin’ what?
The customer clearly sucks and your job sounds as if it isn’t much better. So if you’ve been networking and building up your contacts (you have been doing that, right?), you should be able to easily line up some other employment opportunities before you take the risk actually standing up for yourself.
Remember: in the business world, nothing strengthens up the backbone than knowing that you can always find better work somewhere else.
And if you’re good at selling, that’s ALWAYS the case.
READERS: Does the above square with your personal experience?
