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Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

February 5th, 2008 @ 4:38 am

23 Comments

Categories: General, Humor, Sales Tips

Tags: B2B, E-business/E-Commerce, Internet, Geoffrey James

Sexy Business CoupleConfession time. When I went to my first big business conference as a callow youth, they had an open hospitality bar and, long story short, I ended up in the sack with a decision-maker for a potential customer. I wasn’t in Sales at the time and certainly wasn’t thinking about our division’s quarterly revenue, but be that as it may, the account subsequently ordered several million dollars worth of computer equipment from us.

Another time, I was responsible for buying market research for a Fortune 100 company and was on a focus group tour in Europe. The PR firm handling the research assigned me a translator who, frankly, could have stepped out of the pages of a men’s magazine. We were thrown together almost constantly for a week, and while we didn’t have sex, we came awfully close. I don’t think that she was trying to ensure that her firm would get more business. However, the idea gnawed at the back of my brain powerfully enough so that I made absolutely certain that things didn’t get out of hand. Plus she said no.

My personal misadventures notwithstanding, I gather that customer relationships that get a bit too friendly aren’t all that uncommon in the world of B2B selling. I’ve got a good friend who’s been in B2B Sales all his life and he’s told me half-a-dozen stories where he’s ended up sleeping with clients. However, much as I love the guy, he’s pretty much a world-class gasbag, so I don’t know whether to believe him or just chalk up his stories to wishful thinking. I do know that a lot of B2B salesfolk have dynamic personalities — and are good at closing deals. And under the right conditions that combination can lead to, well, some interesting situations.

Anyway, now that BNET finally has the anonymous “poll” feature up and running, I just have to ask:

Would you have sex with a customer?

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  •  
    1

    oakye

    02/05/08 | Report as spam

    That's what sales budgets are for

    I thought that obligation was doled out to hired "entertainment", not the sales reps themselves! I hope you got some good add-on or upsell opportunities afterwards!

  •  
    2

    mbmattis@...

    02/05/08 | Report as spam

    Outsourcing

    You forgot the option, "Outsource the job to one or more professionals." It's an especially good one for married and celibate sales people, or for sales people of different orientations than their prospects.

  •  
    3

    JeffersonPhillips@...

    02/05/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    no.

  •  
    4

    steve_san_carlos

    02/05/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    Who cares? This is a provocative but ultimately unimportant topic. Geoffrey--You're a better writer and thinker than this!

  •  
    5

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    02/05/08 | Report as spam

    Uhhh.

    No, I'm not.

  •  
    6

    Donna R.

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    No, really

    He isn't

  •  
    7

    ingoodcompany

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    Sex in one hand....half a dozen in the other...

    Though I've read only a few of his posts, this is seems about the level to which he gravitates -- which is scary now that I think about it, because I've felt compelled to respond to his posts. That being said . . .

    After decades in the business world, including a lengthy stint in marketing and sales, his question, I believe, is truly relevent, especially in a world in which the word "Moral" is seldom followed by the word "dilemma" anymore.

    In this post, for example, several folks have implied that buying sex for customers ("outsourcing" was one phrasing) is somehow ethically different than having sex directly with them. For some, that may seem to resolve the ethical dilemma of sex for business (i.e., for the money that comes from the business transactions to follow). But substitution technique can help one see the issue for what it is.

    Let's substitute drugs for sex in this equation. How about a customer who wanted a few ounces of cocaine instead of a hooker? Some of the readers may not be old enough to remember the name John DeLorean. He was using illegal drug money to finance his lawful business, and that act turned the lawful business to mud.

    The question that underlies the entire post is, really, who is the real hooker? The middle man who pays someone to do it, the do it yourself salesman, or the buyer who will accept one or the other?

  •  
    8

    RenRepBGR

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    I say, whatever it takes. Sometimes you have to take one for the team!

  •  
    9

    Java3232

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    wow... I can honestly say that in reading 100's of sales article I have never read one on this topic. While I want to agree with Steve_san_carlos and say that this is not worth discussing I also understand that it something that happens. Personally I am married with 2 beautiful daughters so it is totally out of the question for me! Also, I think it can backfire when the person wants more of a relationship and you don't....what happens to all of those orders when there is a scorned woman (or man) involved? Not only could you lose that customer but potentially other customers if the woman (or man) decides to ruin you. Not something I want to tangle with...

  •  
    10

    ivanjay

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    No way. You never know how a situation like that is going to bite you in the rear end. Plus in most industries word travels fast and it could ruin your career....

    I know of a fellow business owner in my industry (not my company, and someone we frown upon) who is well known to sleep around with his employees. It is not something you want everyone knowing....

  •  
    11

    ingoodcompany

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    Customer Satisfaction? Probably not.

    Who is really satisfying whom? There are usually simple answers to what may seem like tough questions.

    Whether having sex with coworkers in the office, with customers on a sales junket, or with total strangers while on a business trip, moral and ethical questions abound. But...after the third martini with the hotel room keys jingling in the elevator is not the time to wonder if its the right thing to do.

    Rule #1: FOR THE TEAM. If you think you're willing to take one for the team, think it through. Let's assume a scenario in which the customer is a homosexual male, a very large one, and you're a heterosexual male. Would you be willing to take one for the team? If the answer is "No" (or "Hell No."), then its obvious that even heteroxual encounters that you would be "willing" have would not truly be "for the team," but for your own personal gratification and lack of self control.

    Rule #2: GROUCHO TEST. Groucho Marx once quipped, "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member." Why would a customer/buyer commit their organization's money and business continuity to a supplier that was willing to screw them even BEFORE the deal was done? In turn, how is a salesman/vendor going to ensure a sustainable relationship with a customer/buyer who may be making fickle decisions based on sexual performance vs. business performance?

    Rule #3: THE COMPETITION. The customer/buyer could sleep with your competitor tomorrow night. And if the competitor's salesman has a bigger sales budget than yours, do you really want that to be the basis for comparison?

    Rule #4: CUSTOMER SATISFACTION: How will you and the buyer maintain the relationship the morning after and the month after and the year after? You may smile and say, "Well, it was just casual sex...it was meaningless." If casual sex is indeed meaningless, why do it in the first place? Could you tell your management team that you've been engaging in meaningless sales activities to build customer relationships?

    Rule #5: ASK THE BOSS. If you really want to know, then well in advance of any opportunity to service a customers, sit down with your boss and ask, "Do you or the management team expect me to risk my personal health and safety by having meaningless, gratuitous sex with willing customers/buyers who would change suppliers in a heartbeat for a good roll in the hay on a sales junket?"

    Sometimes the answers just aren't tough to figure out.

  •  
    12

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    Wow...

    ...you are WAY overthinking this one.

  •  
    13

    globalsherpa

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    Well, it would make for some interesting Win/Loss reports.

  •  
    14

    oakye

    02/06/08 | Report as spam

    What if the author were female?

    I wonder if the slant of the polling or discussion would change if the sales person were a woman sleeping with a male prospect. In this article, it's the other way around, and usually in B2B companies that dally in such "marketing expenses', they rent female entertainment or pay for female strip club visits.

    For the previous poster who said he wouldn't because he's married with 2 kids, I applaud you. That's not enough to keep some other prospective customers with your demographic background in check, sadly.

  •  
    15

    CarolBlaha

    02/07/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    I don't see it was worth discussing either. I don't see it as related to sales. Its no one's business who I have slept with. Nor would I "kiss and tell". Even one night stands put each other in a position of trust. This sounds like bragging. Who cares.

  •  
    16

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    02/07/08 | Report as spam

    Bragging??

    Hey, I got lucky once and turned down once. In 20 years. Gee, if that's all I have to brag about, I might as well shoot myself.

  •  
    17

    CarolBlaha

    02/07/08 | Report as spam

    one more thought

    As someone (female) who's been in the field 20 plus years-- these "opportunities" happen all of the time. If its only happened to the author twice, he's not getting out much. Again, its not worth discussing cause its just not news. I think a better article would be how to defuse the situation gracefully. Approach it from both saying no-- or if you do-- how to deal with it the next day. As in, the other partner wants a relationship and you dont. Or, you do and they don't. Or they want special consideration because of the intimacy. You can go volumes on that.

  •  
    18

    Geoffrey James, Sales Machine

    02/07/08 | Report as spam

    Who me?

    You can go volumes on that.

    I think, in my case, the operating phrase would be "you can do a paragraph on that."

    I'm pretty clueless on everything that you mention. Good thing I'm married, eh?

  •  
    19

    luisieh

    02/10/08 | Report as spam

    Depends on the business cultural values

    There are lots of places in the world where "favors" are part of the sales process. Sex is but one of those "favors". Whether one puts out or has a proxy to put out... that's subject to negotiation and preferences.

    Hence why Western companies such as those from the US who need to comply with stringent laws, have a difficult time because these types of customer required favors violate the spirit, of not the letter, of those laws.

    I've been involved, as a customer, where the vendor sales guy (from a world-class company) practically begged me to name my price, girls, booze, whatever. Unfortunately for him, these things wouldn't have made his bid any more competitive, nor solve my needs as a customer. He was dinged.

  •  
    20

    alireza_r100

    02/14/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Would You Have Sex with a Potential Customer?

    it's including today's business

  •  
    21

    Ian P

    07/16/08 | Report as spam

    Would my customer have sex with me??

    I think that is the more pertinent question.
    In reality I don't even think that way.
    Closing the deal positively is much better than sex

  •  
    22

    BSmithVA

    10/10/09 | Report as spam

    I have an employee sleeeping with our largest client...

    I have an employee who is sleeping with our largest client (our client btw is also one of our biggest competitors). I have politely asked the employee to keep this relationship on a professional level and not have a personal relationship with our customers. She has moved forward with her relationship with our customer and ignored my request. I see this as a huge conflict of interest. How do I handle this situation without making my customer angry and damaging that relationship?

  •  
    23

    BSmithVA

    10/10/09 | Report as spam

    WTD when an employee is sleeping with a client?

    I have an employee who recently started an intimate relationship with the business owner of one of our largest clients (this client also happens to be one of our largest competitors too). I have advised this employee to keep the relationship professional and not have a personal relationship with this client. She did not take my advice and has proceeded with the personal relationship. I see this as a huge conflict of interest and a threat to my business. I do not want to damage the business relationship my company has with our client nor do I want my employee to leak any confidential information to customer. What do I do?

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