A reader writes, in a comment to an earlier post:
I used to work at a company who was high-tech, but ultra “old boys”. As a non-old boy (neither old, nor boy) it was crazy. One day these “old-boys” were whispering outside my office. Mind you I was in some cases higher ranking as a “C” then they were - all VP’s - but man, never felt like it. I ventured a guess it was on purpose - since later that day a limo pulled up to the building, all 6 of my colleagues and the CEO got in and proceeded to go to the local lap-dance hall. That was just the start. Over the course of the next few weeks I had to hear the “hints” of their late night activities and be the only person in the room not in the know. This was just but one incident - needless to say, I didn’t last long there.
Needless to say, those bozos were being rude. However, I suspect that the reason that they were leaving you out was because they figured you wouldn’t be interested — or might be judgmental about it. They were probably right, but that doesn’t justify their behavior.
I honestly don’t know exactly how businesswomen should react to this kind of foolishness. Leaving the company is always an option, as is a sexual harassment suit, on the grounds of creating a hostile environment. There is also the approach (which I’ve seen one or two women do in the past) of jumping the limo and going to the club.
The experience would probably be tamer than you think. Strip clubs that cater to male patrons aren’t like the strip clubs that cater to female patrons, which (I’ve heard) can get extremely raucous.
By contrast, the atmosphere inside strip clubs that cater to male patrons has always seemed (to me, at least) to be more wistful than decadent. The guys drink expensive beers, look hungrily at women who normally wouldn’t give them the time of day, and offer the women money to pay attention to them. Depressing, actually.
Frankly, I think it’s idiotic to conduct business in a strip club. Still, this stuff goes on.
A friend of mine was doing IPO work with Japanese investors who wanted a piece of his firm. In the evening, they dragged him to a bondage club where the patrons (all male) actively tied up the performers (all female). No sex. Just bondage. Apparently, this is considered “normal guy behavior” after a hard day at work in Japan, at least in that investment firm.
Now, if you knew my friend well, you’d also know that the operative word in the above paragraph is “dragged.” So I’m not entirely certain that the Japanese guys were advancing their chances of closing the deal. But I digress.
I vaguely remember an episode of the “Happy Days” television show where the teenage boys sneak into a strip club and discover one of their fathers with a client. The father later explains that the client demanded it, and that he found the experience boring and embarrassing. That pretty much sums up how I feel about the matter.
Anyway, here’s my question for you:
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