This week, we’re going to turn that bane of selling — rejection — into something that will make you more effective and more successful.
First some background. Why are you in sales? Money? Recognition? Achievement? Wrong, wrong, and wrong. All of those reasons are just outward manifestations of your real goal: you want to feel good about yourself. For example, you think you sell because you want money? Wrong. What you really want is what the money can buy. And I’m not talking about that new Ferrari. I’m talking about the feeling that owning a Ferrari would give you. No matter what reason you give for being in sales, trace it back, and you’ll eventually get to “it makes me feel good about myself.” End of story.
That’s why rejection is so insidious. Since we’re a social species, most people base their feelings about themselves on the opinions of others. Rejection hurts because it makes you feel like you’re not worthwhile. Worse, you may feel that it’s blocking you from attaining whatever it is that will make you feel good about yourself. However, the idea “rejection equals pain” is not a law of nature. Successful sales pros, rather than taking rejection seriously, develop skills to use negative feedback to create greater success. And that’s what we’re going to do.
We’re going to spend most of the week on this. Each day I’m going to give you a new exercise, and at the end of the week — if you do the exercises, natch — you’ll start seeing rejection as something positive. Not only won’t it sting, you’ll emerge from the experience more energized and more positive and more ready to be successful.
Today we’re going to redefine what rejection is all about. Here’s how:
- REFRAME. Estimate the number of times you encounter rejection in an average day. (No need to be entirely accurate; go ballpark here.) Now calculate your daily average salary/commission. Now divide the number of rejections per day by your daily salary. Look at that number carefully. That’s how much money goes into your pocket every time you encounter a rejection. The reasoning is simple. If you’re not getting rejected, you’re not selling. So when you do sell, it’s because you’ve been willing to be rejected. The rejections lead to the sales, so you’re being paid to be rejection.
- REINFORCE. Examine the following equation: “REJECTION = MONEY”. Isn’t that what step #1 told you? Write that equation down three times, on three post-its, in big, bold letters. (Hint: use a sharpie!) Stick one copy by your phone. Put one copy where you see it every time you open your briefcase. Put the third copy in your bathroom where you’ll see it when you get ready for work in the morning. Yeah, I know this sounds kinda corny, but the technique works because it forces the equation into your subconscious mind. Leave the post-its up for the duration of the week.
Tomorrow we’ll get into some deeper stuff — and root out the fear of rejection that’s eating into your ability to succeed.
