Sales Machine

Two weeks ago, I posted “Top 10 Sales Tips from the Seinfeld Show“.  It proved so popular, I thought it would be worthwhile to post an additional 10 tips.  Like the previous 10, I think you’ll find them useful in honing your sales skills.

As before, I’ve included polls so you can vote on your favorites.  Here’s the first; the link to the rest is at the bottom of the post.

GEORGE SHOPS FOR A CAR

SALES TIP: No matter what you do, some customers are going to dislike you, simply because you’re a  sales professional.  Usually they’re people with weak minds who are paranoid about being manipulated, BTW.

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CLICK for the next Seinfeld sales tip »

The powers-that-be have reminded me that this is supposed to be a SERIOUS blog, and that stuff like Top 10 Sales Tips from the Seinfeld Show distracts from that purpose.  With that in mind, here is a series of videos that explain, in six easy steps, exactly how companies make buying decisions for mission-critical B2B solutions.

Step #1: The Customer Sets a Corporate Strategy

Your customer’s corporate strategy is the most important determinant of whether they will purchase your offering.  Therefore, it is essential to understand exactly how they’ve set that strategy, which will determine the basic parameters of their business model.

Note: This video has two segments; ignore the second part.

CLICK for step #2 of the customer buying process »

It’s been over ten years since the Seinfeld show left the television airways, but it remains the undisputed classic television comedy. But here’s a little known fact: did you know that you can learn a lot about sales and selling from watching Seinfeld clips? It’s true!

I’ve gathered 10 ten clips, each of which illustrates a basic principle of selling, sales technique, or sales psychology. As usual, I’ve included polls so you can vote on your favorites. Here’s the first; the link to the rest is at the bottom of the post.

GEORGE DOES TELEMARKETING

SALES TIP: In sales, determination isn’t enough; you also need basic skills, like how to answer an objection.

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CLICK HERE for the next Seinfeld sales tip »

Today’s New York Times contains an article explaining how some businesses are locating next to “medical” marijuana stores, as well as advertising to attract “medical” marijuana users.  The businesses in the article sell “munchies” appropriate for the suddenly ravenous, but I know a trend when I see it.

For millenia, sales professionals have used alcohol to loosen up customers, build rapport and move a sale forward.  So, with marijuana going legal, how long do you think it will be before sales pros and prospects start lighting up a doobie before (or after) doing some serious business?

And I’m not entirely sure that’s a good idea.

I must admit that my specific experiences with marijuana fall into the general category of “if you can remember the 60s you weren’t really there.”

However, I do recall that pot smokers were dull conversationalists.  The typical example either talked about 1) how stoned he was; 2) how stoned he was last time he got stoned; or 3) his ear.

That last item might require a bit of explanation.  For some reason, every time somebody took a hit of pot, they’d hand the joint to the next person and say “Ear.”  I never did figure out why.

Anyway, I’m having trouble imagining what kind of business deals will emerge from these smokey powwows.  I do know one thing, though.  The stock prices for potato chip firms will rise through the roof!!

Anyway, here’s an (anonymous) poll so you can express your opinion freely:

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I was recently looking through Jeff Thull’s new book “Exceptional Selling” and came across this little nugget of wisdom:

When in doubt, do the opposite of what a salesperson would do.

That’s good advice, because in most cases acting like a “salesperson” is a great way to annoy a prospect.  In fact, you should check your entire shtick to ensure that you don’t sound and look like somebody that’s in Sales.

Not that I’m against Sales!

However, like all professions, Sales has acquired a particular “voice” that’s supposed to be “how a sales pro sounds.”  If you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself talking in the overly-glib, fakey-flakey “sales” voice, because you unconsciously consider it part of the identity as a sales professional.

Same thing with your appearance.  There’s a dressed-too-much-for-success look that screams “sales pro” and which, frankly, turns off many prospects.

Am I saying you should mumble all the time and dress like a clown?  Of course not.  But I do believe that you should distance yourself from the stereotypes, because those stereotypes work against you.  They put the prospect on guard and create barriers to closing the deal.

Nowhere is that more true than when you’re at a loss for what to do next. The big danger is that, when you’re in doubt of what to do next, you’ll trap to some “salesy” behavior, like giving a sales pitch or attempting some kind of rapport building.

In such cases, you’re probably better off doing the opposite — like ending the meeting prematurely or even openly questioning whether the prospect really needs your product. I know that sounds crazy, but if you TRULY don’t know what to do, you’re better off doing something completely off the wall than simply continuing to sell.

Earlier this month, I posted a gallery of Real Life Sales Managers from Hell.  In that post, I asked Sales Machine readers to send me more examples of the hellish breed.  And you didn’t disappoint me.

This post contains even some sales managers who make the ones in my original list look like sweethearts.  As before, I’ve provided some polls so that you can vote on their relative hellishness.

And the final manager in this gallery is (of course) the proverbial doozy.

READERS: EMAIL ME YOUR “MANAGER FROM HELL” STORY and I’ll add it to this gallery!

CLICK HERE for the first sales manager from hell »

It’s been a long week, with plenty of substantive posts, so what-the-heck… I’m going a off topic for today’s Friday video post. Here goes.

According to a recent news report, some famous rock bands plan to sue the government for using their music to torture prisoners.

I can understand their point.  I mean, you spend a lot of time trying to compose and perform the best music you can, and then some CIA dork decides: “Gee, this is the perfect music to drive some poor Afghan driver out of his gourd.”

What I don’t understand is why the torturers would want to chose bands like REM and Pearl Jam (both of whom are involved in the suit).  Therefore, in the interests of national security, I’ve selected ten music videos that would be much better for torturing terrorists than the mild stuff they’ve apparently been using.

Also, since the videos themselves are as every bit awful as the music on them, the videos could be also used to torture deaf terrorists, if happen to be any around.  Seriously, a couple of hours listening and watching these turkeys and the bad guys would be spilling everything they know…

As usual, I’ve provided polls so you can vote on your “favorites.”

CLICK HERE for the first torture-worthy music video »

Using sex to sell is probably the oldest trick in the advertising book.  And such ads continue to be popular — presumably because they work.  I’ve just trolled through about a hundred of these ads (in other words, I kissed a perfectly good morning goodbye), and came up with the ten best.  None of them are outright lewd, but most of them are pretty darn close to the edge.   As usual, I’ve added polls so you can vote on your favorites.

CLICK HERE for the first almost-too-sexy TV ad »

O. M. G.

In his blog, Gerhard Gschwandtner, the publisher of SellingPower magazine (for which I frequently write) just body slammed Mark Benioff, CEO of Salesforce.com.   In his blog, Gerhard accuses Benioff of being an all-around lousy human being who has fooled the mainstream media into treating him like a god.

This is more than just a shot over the bow… it’s blowing up a bridge.  And since Salesforce.com is a HUGE buyer of magazine and trade advertising, it’s more than a gutsy move on Gerhard’s part.  I think it’s fair to say that this kind of criticism from a major media figure in the business press is completely unique.

What’s amazing about it, though, isn’t just that Gerhard had guts to slam Benioff; it’s that he’s willing to do it in the middle of a recession, when magazines are struggling for advertising.  Every other publication on the planet is busy kissing CEO butt big time, trying to drum up some ad buys.

In my view, though, its past time that somebody with some real business clout started pointing out that CEOs in general, and high tech CEOs in particular, have been getting a free ride in the press.  The unrelenting positive coverage that the mainstream churns out has created a culture of entitlement, where CEOs think the world revolves around them.

I’ve interviewed at least 250 CEOs and I can count the ones that weren’t a******s on the fingers of one hand.  Sad but true.  And I can complain about it all I like (as in “Sales Pros Know More than CEOs“), but the truth is that until some media figures of stature start debunking the CEO myth, those guys are going to keep acting like jerks.  Or worse.

On Friday, I asked “Is Cold Calling Dead?“  The truth is that I’ve run across a dozen articles declaring some aspect of selling to be “dead.”  (Heck, I’ve even written a couple of them.)  Anyway, I figure that Sales Machine readers know better than the pundits about what’s really going on, so here’s a list of sales “stuff” that’s recently been declared “dead”.  You get to vote on which you think is the most “dead.”

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READERS: Should anything else have have been on this list? (No fair posting “this blog” as an answer!)