Sales Machine

Two weeks ago, I posted “Top 10 Sales Tips from the Seinfeld Show“.  It proved so popular, I thought it would be worthwhile to post an additional 10 tips.  Like the previous 10, I think you’ll find them useful in honing your sales skills.

As before, I’ve included polls so you can vote on your favorites.  Here’s the first; the link to the rest is at the bottom of the post.

GEORGE SHOPS FOR A CAR

SALES TIP: No matter what you do, some customers are going to dislike you, simply because you’re a  sales professional.  Usually they’re people with weak minds who are paranoid about being manipulated, BTW.

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CLICK for the next Seinfeld sales tip »

The powers-that-be have reminded me that this is supposed to be a SERIOUS blog, and that stuff like Top 10 Sales Tips from the Seinfeld Show distracts from that purpose.  With that in mind, here is a series of videos that explain, in six easy steps, exactly how companies make buying decisions for mission-critical B2B solutions.

Step #1: The Customer Sets a Corporate Strategy

Your customer’s corporate strategy is the most important determinant of whether they will purchase your offering.  Therefore, it is essential to understand exactly how they’ve set that strategy, which will determine the basic parameters of their business model.

Note: This video has two segments; ignore the second part.

CLICK for step #2 of the customer buying process »

It’s been over ten years since the Seinfeld show left the television airways, but it remains the undisputed classic television comedy. But here’s a little known fact: did you know that you can learn a lot about sales and selling from watching Seinfeld clips? It’s true!

I’ve gathered 10 ten clips, each of which illustrates a basic principle of selling, sales technique, or sales psychology. As usual, I’ve included polls so you can vote on your favorites. Here’s the first; the link to the rest is at the bottom of the post.

GEORGE DOES TELEMARKETING

SALES TIP: In sales, determination isn’t enough; you also need basic skills, like how to answer an objection.

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CLICK HERE for the next Seinfeld sales tip »

A few weeks ago, I posted the Top 5 Funny Sales Scenes from Hollywood.  That got me thinking about sales-oriented movies what were more serious, so I located these five dramatic clips, all from Hollywood movies, that feature characters who are sales professionals.

What’s interesting about these clips is that each one teaches an important lesson about selling in the real world, so I’ve added my own comments about what I learned from watching the movie.  Warning: some of these clips include strong language… but it’s tame compared to what I’ve actually heard in real-life sales teams.)

I’ve included polls so you can vote for your favorite, just like the people who vote for the Oscars.

CLICK HERE for the first dramatic sales scene »

It’s been a long week, with plenty of substantive posts, so what-the-heck… I’m going a off topic for today’s Friday video post. Here goes.

According to a recent news report, some famous rock bands plan to sue the government for using their music to torture prisoners.

I can understand their point.  I mean, you spend a lot of time trying to compose and perform the best music you can, and then some CIA dork decides: “Gee, this is the perfect music to drive some poor Afghan driver out of his gourd.”

What I don’t understand is why the torturers would want to chose bands like REM and Pearl Jam (both of whom are involved in the suit).  Therefore, in the interests of national security, I’ve selected ten music videos that would be much better for torturing terrorists than the mild stuff they’ve apparently been using.

Also, since the videos themselves are as every bit awful as the music on them, the videos could be also used to torture deaf terrorists, if happen to be any around.  Seriously, a couple of hours listening and watching these turkeys and the bad guys would be spilling everything they know…

As usual, I’ve provided polls so you can vote on your “favorites.”

CLICK HERE for the first torture-worthy music video »

Using sex to sell is probably the oldest trick in the advertising book.  And such ads continue to be popular — presumably because they work.  I’ve just trolled through about a hundred of these ads (in other words, I kissed a perfectly good morning goodbye), and came up with the ten best.  None of them are outright lewd, but most of them are pretty darn close to the edge.   As usual, I’ve added polls so you can vote on your favorites.

CLICK HERE for the first almost-too-sexy TV ad »

Let’s face it: most elevator pitches woefully inadequate when it comes to starting the sales cycle.

This post contains the video examples of the ten most common elevator pitch problems… with quick advice on how to fix them.

My apologies to the pitchers, who probably didn’t envision being thus honored.  At least they’ll get some publicity for their firms, though…

But don’t feel obligated to watch each video to completion.  In most cases, the error occurs with 10 seconds.

BTW, the final video (and pitch) is so incredibly awful that it defies belief…like something from a new and dreadful world.

CLICK HERE for the first lousy elevator pitch »

There are literally thousands of comedians who try to get corporate gigs.  Most simply repackage their “comedy club” stand-up routine — without the profanity.  That’s kinda dumb, in my view.  Who wants to hear the same old schtick you’d hear in a bar… at a corporate meeting?

There are a few comedians, however, who actually use the workplace as a vehicle for their humor.  I’ve trolled through YouTube and found short clips from the five that, IMHO, have the funniest routines.  As usual, I’ve added polls so you can express your opinion.

CLICK HERE for the first comedian »

Click here for other “Friday Funnies” Video Galleries!

Let’s face it: blackberries are addictive.  And, not surprisingly, a number of videos have been made making fun of that addiction.  I’ve just spent the entire morning, checking out the selection  of “Crackberry” vids on YouTube.  (Tough job, but someone’s got to do it.)  Here are the five funniest, IMHO.

As usually, I’ve provided polls so you can vote on your favorites.

CLICK HERE for the first funny crackberry video »

Click here for other “Friday Funnies” Video Galleries!

It’s Friday again, so it’s time for some funny videos.  Today, I’ve gathered together the five funniest sales-oriented scenes from Hollywood movies.  What I like about this collection is that they’re all funny in completely different ways.  As usual, I’ve added polls so that you can vote on your favorites.

Warning: the final video is so funny that the first time I saw it I practically busted a gut I laughed so hard.  My wife thinks it’s the funniest movie scene of all time.

CLICK HERE for the first funny sales scene »

Click here for other “Friday Funnies” Video Galleries!