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Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like Adults

September 11th, 2009 @ 1:25 pm

58 Comments

Categories: Best Practices, Executive Focus, Finance, Management, Marketing, Presentations, Strategy, Tips and Tools, Wisdom, Workplace

Tags: Adult, Growing Up, Negotiation, Manager, Negotiation Skills, Professional Development, Finance, Career, Sales, Leadership

It’s relatively easy to be a successful child. All you’ve got to do is learn how to be cute, get attention, and cry when you’re hurt or hungry. Learning how to be a teenager is much harder; I’m not sure anybody’s good at it. I certainly wasn’t. As for becoming an adult, I’ve been working on that for decades and making very, very slow progress.

Everything gets harder as you get older, and becoming a good manager is no exception.

In fact, becoming a good manager is harder than all of those other phases combined. Why? Because, it not only depends on how much of an adult you’ve become, but how adult your employees are. Not to mention all the management and leadership skills that so-called experts and gurus aren’t even sure about - they debate this stuff all the time.

So, for all you relatively new, aspiring managers, and for those supposedly seasoned veterans who are honest enough with themselves to admit that they’re still trying to figure it out, here are three relatively critical but not necessarily intuitive tips I’ve learned by trial and lots of error along the way.

Try to act like a mature adult. As I alluded to above, the best managers are those rare individuals who actually behave like mature adults. What does that mean? It means being as honest, comfortable, and empathetic with your own issues and shortcomings as you are with your strengths and skills. Only then can you do the same for others, and that’s what good managers do.

Do the work - hands on. Work your tail off learning the basics of your trade and industry, whatever that is, while you still can - before you get promoted and lose the opportunity. Why? No matter how smart you are, that’s the only way to get hands-on experience that will engender respect from employees and help you to make effective management decisions down the road.

Become adept at 5 things: finance, selling, presenting, negotiating, and business communications.

Finance. I don’t care if you manage engineering, HR, IT, sales, whatever, you need to learn about finance. Why? Because that’s how companies are run and how business works. Period.

Selling. To sell your own programs internally you have to learn how to open doors, help constituents and peers to make informed decisions, and close deals.

Presenting. It’s hard to imagine your career going anywhere unless you can deliver an effective presentation. Unfortunately, most of us aren’t born with the presentation gene.

Negotiating. Negotiation skills are critical to resolving conflicts, driving consensus among peers and other key constituents, and developing your own career.

Communicating. Great managers are also great communicators; it’s a critical success skill. Unfortunately, they don’t teach you about business communications in school.

These additional resources will help with the above skills:

 
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  •  
    1

    Dan Erwin

    09/12/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Steve: Absolutely great stuff. . . and to pull your chain, I suspect all of us consultants and gurus will agree with it. One other big deal for managers to be: learn to share your tasks with others--so you can delegate when you get that promotion to manager. I yak about it here: http://bit.ly/l2Ayr

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    2

    Loraine Antrim

    09/12/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    The best advice for aspiring managers is to become adept at five things: finance, selling, presenting, negotiating, and communicating. Steve, this is spot-on, but I might change the order. As an executive coach, I've seen hundreds of potential leaders not rise through the ranks because of communication skills, not selling ability. So how about this order: Be adept at: communicating, presenting, negotiating, selling and finance. Great article and advice! Loraine Antrim, Core Ideas Communication

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    3

    Amusis

    09/13/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    These skills are definitely necessary to rise into management. But there's another skill necessary to rise into leadership- and to stay there. In a word, it is empathy. The best leaders have an uncanny knack for understanding the emotional state of everyone around them, and imfluencing it positively. Because we are emotional beings at heart, those are the kinds of people we want to be led by- the ones that make us feel good. And we don't care whether tor not they're goot at finance of presentations.

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    4

    Clemens Rettich

    09/13/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Loraine, you nailed it. All necessary, but some more critical than others. Mastering communication is not negotiable.

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    5

    Steve Tobak

    09/13/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Amusis: thanks for your comment, but I think you missed something:

    "It means being as honest, comfortable, and EMPATHETIC with your own issues and shortcomings as you are with your strengths and skills. Only then can you do the same for others, and that?s what good managers do."

    Steve Tobak

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    6

    amanda_t

    09/14/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I would also add that you need to know the other pieces of the business in addition to finance. That will help establish relativity between departments and allow you to use those other 5 skills effectively within your own.

  •  
    7

    msm1016

    09/14/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Thank you Steve. I have been evangelizing the importance of communication skills and presentation skills to anyone who would stand still long enough to listen. I have sat painfully through thousands of business presentations over the last 24 years and Guy Kawasaki hit the nail on the head when he said "99% of business presentations suck!" In my humble opinion, and I know there are lots of books out there on these subjects, Making Messages Stick by Chip and Dan Heath and Presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds should be on everyone's bookshelves.

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    8

    davidhope@...

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I agree with this article. The five things you need to be good at are spot-on. In practice it takes years of hard, real-world involvement in business projects, both successes and failures, to be really comfortable in these areas: you can't acquire skills in communicating and negotiating without lots of experience.

    Trendy Management books from Airport bookshops won't and can't give you the insight you gain from actually doing.

    By default, you need to be long-term manager to really internalise the knowledge and skills mentioned here.

    I would also add 'influence and change management' to this, but I guess that's really another part of communication skill.



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    9

    selfishy_me@...

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    If more managers were like you, employees would be happier in the workplace and the world would be a better place.

  •  
    10

    regnard@...

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Hello Steve!

    I really like your post. It's not to preachy and concise. happy

    I'm writing a blog post inspired by your blog post. grin

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    11

    djensensss

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Hi Steve,

    Interesting post. Do you have any research to validate your opinion? Lominger data (and others) suggest that there are 67 competencies that leaders need - a combination of 20 or so make up any given position.

    Thanks,
    Dave Jensen
    DaveJensenOnLeadership.com

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    12

    verycold

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I know a person that started out as a bench chemist and over a very long period of time and some painful discoveries, ended up becoming president of a company.

    When he accepted the job as president, he had to take a battery of managerial tests designed to show his strengths and weaknesses. It was very revealing and really spot on which required looking at the results with objectivity. A good manager knows what he excels at and what is harder for him to manage.

    I would add also that a successful manager must be able to pull himself/herself away from issues that might become too personal. So the empathy is warranted, but don't cross the line of being that employer vs being a friend. On many occasions this person rescued many employees failing at their jobs feeling if they had one more chance and some internal help they would work out. This can be a slippery slope and if the manager and employee are friendly it can muck up that relationship when personal discussions of that failure ensue. People do have egos and taking criticism is often very hard.

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    DeonBasson

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    LIFE IS A PITCH?THEN YOU FLY (THE PSYCHOLOGY OF COMMUNICATION) : it is not what you say, but how you say it.

    Good communication skills are critical being a good manager!! To present well, to sell well, to negotiate well, to persuade well, and to manage well you need to communicate well.

    BUT saying it in the right way is what makes the difference in communication. Some people like blasting facts while others think it is boring. Some people like to communicate with feelings while others think it is too ?soft?. Some people like to talk about new ideas while others think it is not specific enough. Some people like to communicate in an orderly way while others think they are inflexible.
    You need to change your style to the person you are communicating to?and watch your success improve.

    The most important contributor to success in communication is the ability to understand people and in the process of doing that change our approach appropriately. We all differ in our approaches to communication due to the fact that we all have certain preferences in communication. Understanding this, we can now change our own ?natural style? and make it more appropriate to the person/s we are dealing with and in that greatly enhance our success.

    Our communication preferences differ from each other even more than our fingerprints. We all have 1 or 2 preferences in communication. The communication styles are the following :
    * Visionary ? Opportunistic, Risk Taker, New Ideas, but do not enjoy too much detail or being too inflexible.
    * Connected / Social ? Relationships, Empathetic, Sympathetic, but do not enjoy insensitivity towards people.
    * Analytical ? Factual, Analyzing everything, but do not enjoy being vague with information.
    * Methodical ? Process Driven and orderly, but do not enjoy veing all over the place in communication.

    Armed with knowledge of different communication styles, understanding your own preference and utilizing the tools to understand the preference of the people you are communicating with, people can now dramatically improve the way they communicate.

    Improve your communication by doing your own free communication profile by going to www.2interact.com and following the big blue arrow.

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    14

    mohanramsujatha

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I worked for an Managing Director who was very warm and empathetic. He would put his ass on line for others sake and protect us as his own kids. We call him lovingly as our father for his loving care. Unfortunately our factory went on flames one day during those dire season when all the our Ausee forests were on fire. No amount of caring and warmth could bring us back to where we were after the fire. Well, we very soon got used to it as we knew it was to happen one day...we had seen it happen to our neighbours last year. But our MD just couldn't take it, not because his job was on fire but because we would suffer. His fear was much of long sight too, he started with explaining to his superiors that we should encourage people to continue to work so that we would not loose the continuity of labour if not the entire nation will suffer as the jobs might go to neighbouring islands like Fiji and New Zealand and the country as a whole will lose a manufacturing base. Although he was true on long scale perspective, no one was prepared to understand this empathetic forecasting intellectual's advise, nor were we prepared to shed our blood to prove his point. I knew this bleeding heart was right in every sense, but as a business perspective appealed to neighbouring islands they were lured towards alternatives than staying and fighting for the country with the patriotic intentions. I remember him staying late at night many a weekends and weekdays formulating convincing strategies to hold the jobs. I must say he went bald and managed to worry his partner so much that she went bald too...:-)
    Well the fact is you should not empathize so much that you kill yourself to the cause nor should you adopt absolutely extreme end of hanging your heart on the coat stand before you enter your chamber. Everything in moderation is always appreciatable. Knowing when to hold yourself is a virtue in itself, but this is not something everyone develops instinctively. It does take couple of hard hits to pick it up as life experience.

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    15

    limjoo

    09/15/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Agreed with Steve. An aspiring manager must be a mature adult. To add, a mature adult must be successful in self-management first before managing other. If one can't manage oneself, forget about motivating employees and gaining the trust and respects of colleagues and even upper management.

  •  
    16

    kimmma

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Everything gets harder as you get older, and becoming a good manager is no exception.

    Don't know why you included this statement, this makes no sense - sure some physical things do - but to me everything else including changing and improving gets easier! the experience curve concept certainly does apply.

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    17

    ramraghvan

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Agree with Steve.. The importance of communication is underrated these days. When people use words that are beyond our comprehending capbilities we say oh they are just words. When i hear that i turn around and ask so without words how can you express what you think, feel, believe, value. We have learnt and progressed faster in the evolution chain only after we learnt how to speak. Fact is a specific word can and will trigger a range or emotions, beliefs etc as human brain learns through patternation. It is a product of consciousness, evolution and solution conditioning. If that is the case, what you think and the words you use to express that could be percieved differently by others as their patterns are slightly or grossly misaligned with your patterns. So, getting to understand other persons perception about your own communication is critical. You cannot change or acquire new skills, competencies unless you address this fundamental issue as no amount of training can compensate or alter how people perceive you and the words that come out of your mouth... So its not just semantics.. BTW i am not a communications coach. My work revolves around neurology, behaviour and its impact on strategy.. Great post steve.. keep em coming

  •  
    18

    dcroce

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Another important characteristic is self-awareness. A good manager knows his/hers weaknesses.

  •  
    19

    anuvar29

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Real insightful thoughts! five parameters like five fingers come together to make a strong punch!

  •  
    20

    pjdeegan

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Steve,
    Great article! I work with managers often as a coach. I am amazed by the number of managers (of various ages) that "act out" like a child have a tantrum or engage in some other adolescent behaviors. Yet, they turn to me leveling similar accusations at their employees, while failing to look in the proverbial "mirror."

    I am going to send this to a few folks as a wake up call.

    Thanks again!

  •  
    21

    muniwizard@...

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Excellent article and useful comments above. Like others, I've found that communication is key, especially good listening, including watching for body language and tone of voice. Long ago, as a new manager promoted from a technical specialty, I made a lot of mistakes, saw my shortcomings and worked to overcome them. "Know thyself" is good advice. Building on strengths and seeking out associates with skills to shore up weaknesses worked for me. Finally, building a sustainable team through selecting the right people, providing sound training and work experiences is vital to help assure continued success. The old "Plan ahead..."

  •  
    22

    JPSmith

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    Always be ready to learn something new

    The bullet points of this article are going on my bulletin board. As a newbi at my company, I see how I will be able to use all of these points as I grow in my position.

    I think the points are essentially all communications and having strengths in the different approaches. Negotiating, Selling, Presenting are all communicating. Finance is what you need to know to present and then negotiate a deal that will keep your company in the black and tell you when you can comfortable walk away from a bad deal.

    All good stuff. Thanks.

  •  
    23

    solitude4u

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I agree with it all as well, in whatever order. From my experience, I'd put, on top of the list, emotional intelligence/self-awareness. No matter how well-versed we might be in these other areas, if we enter into any situation with no regard of our own baggage and biases, and place the burden of blame or fault on others, all we do is for naught.

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    24

    rathodr@...

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    While I wouldn't put it on the top 5, it may be a close #6: get an MBA. Its not a silver bullet and many are great managers without it. One thing it did for me was make me humble - I now know all the things I didn't know.

    I got mine after 20 years of service. I got to know all the corporate functions individually and painfully. The MBA simply put things in the right place. I now have a list of skills I need to continue developing - its like a checkpoint list.

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    25

    rathodr@...

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    While I would not put it on the top 5, it may be a close no.6: get an MBA. Its not a silver bullet and many are great managers without it. One thing it did for me was make me humble - I now know all the things I didn't know.

    I got mine after 20 years of service. I got to know all the corporate functions individually and painfully. The MBA simply put things in the right place. I now have a list of skills I need to continue developing - its like a checkpoint list.

  •  
    26

    rathodr@...

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    While I would not put it on the top 5, getting an MBA may be a close 6. Its not a silver bullet and many are great managers without it. One thing it did for me was make me humble. I now know all the things I didn't know.

    I got mine after 20 years of service. I got to know corporate functions individually and painfully, and the MBA simply put things in the right place. I now have a list of skills I need to continue developing. Its like a checkpoint list.

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    27

    phangen@...

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I would add problem solving to the list.

  •  
    28

    jamaica123

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I agree, co workers who act mature tend to get ahead most of the time. I recommend that people need to know when to hold and know when to play. The correct balance can be achieved and also result in a great manager.

    Rory Marsh - Jamaica

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    29

    andresgurovich

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    This conversation has ended in the same way as a leadership conversation, something I believe Steve said could happen. Some of the constituents of good management being discussed here are also leadership skills, the most important communicating effectively. Having been a manager I would say that managers need to be extremely good and focused in delivering in their business context. You are a good manager if you solve problems, not create them. You are a good manager if you make your team want to continue working with you. You are a good manager if you know first or second all the relevant information. You are a good manager if you control well your costs. There is not such thing as a permanent set of skills that keep being at the top of the list as if they were a business school ranking and in that sense I follow Dave Jensen's comment. It depends on the business situation and state of maturity. I would say that good managers deliver and improvize. As a manager told me "come into my room with problems you already discussed and couldn't solved."

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    30

    mike_bechthold@...

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Nice one, Steve. Funny how things don't really change much from one generation to the next, as to what one needs to be successful. Despite the rise of technology, social media, globalization, etc., the core things remain the same.

    Paying attention to your setup just before the list of 5 skills, I notice they both sort of gel with my personal equation for success. That is:

    Attitude + Discipline + Problem Solving Skills = Success

    Since I'd lump all 5 skills - and any others anyone comes up with - into the 'Problem Solving' part (to include all the necessary experience, education and skills learned along the way,) the other 2/3 of determining a career trajectory are the so-called 'soft skills'. And being a mature adult is close to 'Attitude'. The EQ (emotional quotient) vs. the traditional IQ measure has been proven to be a more important predictor of success, and that's where the attitude and maturity comes in - empathy, understanding, listening, all that good stuff.

    That leaves Discipline, and you hit that with 'Doing the hands on work'. Whenever I get bored with the details of my job, I remind myself that's what I'm getting paid to do, unless its something that can be delegated. It's good for me to hammer out a formula-heavy spreadsheet or query a big ol' Access db myself every once in awhile...

    So I'd say we are in sync. The rest are just semantics and debates as to which one might be more important for a given position or at a given phase of one's career. Keep up the good work here....

  •  
    31

    QBCMGR

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    any advice on how to gain the finance knowledge and experience you reference? never really been in that world and would love to find a "101"-type resource.

    Thanks,
    D-

  •  
    32

    Steve Tobak

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    QBCMGR: Gee, I guess go to the bookstore and pick up a primer on corporate finance (I have a book somewhere called "What every manager should know about finance" that a former CEO gave me once upon a time - it's really old and probably out of date but they may have updated it or you can just google those words) or, if you really want to go hog-wild, take graduate classes in financial accounting and managerial economics.

    Steve Tobak

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    33

    Steve Tobak

    09/16/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    djensensss: "Do you have any research to validate your opinion?"

    No, it's not a hypothesis, this isn't a classroom, I'm not an academian, and I don't do research. I blog about my experience in the real world; that's really all I'm even marginally qualified to discuss. If it rings true, try it. If not, don't. Some companies even pay me for it. Go figure. wink

    Thanks for all the excellent comments!

    Steve Tobak

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    34

    MavMin2

    09/17/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Bravo!!! Steve you are so dead on!! For the others, no easy 101 course or stacks of research replace the smell of chaos in the morning. The practicum lab of the University of Hard Knocks is still the only place you can get the best training. No other classroom offers such opportunity for success. No stats can help as your experience will seldom reflect the studies. In my own chosen career path, I learned more through my own study in the library and in the trenches then I ever learned in the classroom. Just within your own persona there are enough variables to skew any study and be way off the classic textbook case. Add to that the many variables of any other human and times it by the number of employees and you have an universe of a different color than anyone else. Enjoy!

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    35

    MavMin2

    09/17/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    to rathodr

    I hear what you are saying but my experience has led me to see MBA to more often to More Bull Ahead or More Boring Anecdotes. I have seen far too many folks with degrees who can theorize but not produce than I could have ever imagined. It may also mean a very rigid adherence to the philosophy of their school and no intuition or creative spark and often it is the off the wall SWAG that makes the day!

    If I have two resumes, one with MBA and light experience and the other with heavy experience and proof of production I will dump the MBA every time. There are still many people who frankly suck at book learning but they have skills that run circles around folks with multiple doctorates. Papers are nice on the wall but don't feed the bulldog down the hall.

    Sour grapes? No, I have a doctorate and have published many article and authored two books. Still, if I did not have the other skills I had before, during and since the classroom I would have never made it.

    I really think that degrees and certs have lost their charm and maybe even outlived their usefulness. Show me you can make it happen and I care not what papers and pedigrees you have. In fact, the only paper that will catch my attention is an honorable discharge from the military. Show me a DD214 with some achievement medals and you fly to the top of the list before any degree.

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    36

    mike_bechthold@...

    09/17/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    @ MavMin

    I've known both types of my fellow MBAs - ones who used it to make them better managers, and ones who just used it as a door opener. The latter types were spotted by the rest of us within the first semester, and didn't get invited to be on any of my teams for most classes.

    Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater - the candidate with an MBA must have all the other requisite skills and experience to even be in the game, right? I agree that it is pure hubris for the 'light MBA' guy to even apply, but if the other stuff is about the same, the extra degree is just icing.

    Are you saying you'd reject the MBA with all other things being equal? That would be shortsighted...

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    37

    Steve Tobak

    09/17/09 | Report as spam

    On the MBA debate

    I have a few thoughts on the MBA debate:

    As I recently advised someone: "Early in my career I took a few MBA classes and said ___ this. That decision probably did stunt my career, but can you really call 10+ years as a senior exec stunted? Who knows? If you want to be a CEO, boards like MBAs. God knows why, but they do. Do you need the MBA? Nope. Is it a checkbox for some? Yup. But if you're REALLY good, who cares? Nobody."

    Now a story: In 1993 I interviewed for my first Silicon Valley marketing job - director of marketing for a $100 million chip company. A connection helped me get the interview. The job required an MBA, and the hiring EVP mentioned that upfront. He said he was sorry, but I was missing a key qualification. So I asked him why he thought that. I mean, why did he think an MBA should be a requirement? He had no answer. I got the job, my next job was VP of marketing for a microprocessor company, and well, the rest is history.

    That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    ST

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    38

    prosunhere

    09/17/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    hi steve,
    think u r absolutely right about the fact that an MBA is not necessary to be a succesful manager,it might be important though!!After all a lot many people are out there who have made a fortune wdout it.

    i would like to add 'a good manager is the one who creates his own substitute'.

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    39

    pwag

    09/17/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Dead on. Schools should give this article to graduating college students.

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    40

    djensensss

    09/18/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Hi Steve,

    I recently commented on your blog, asking you if you had any research behind your opinions. Thank you for your answer, which was...

    "No, it's not a hypothesis, this isn't a classroom, I'm not an academian, and I don't do research. I blog about my experience in the real world; that's really all I'm even marginally qualified to discuss. If it rings true, try it. If not, don't. Some companies even pay me for it. Go figure."

    I?d like to ask you and your readers a few other quick questions:
    1. How much time, money, effort? do we spend trying other peoples? ideas (authors, consultants, celebrity speakers?) in an attempt to improve our situation (i.e., conducting our own "experiments")?
    2. How do we know their ideas will work for us?
    3. Is there a way to increase the probability that all our time, money, and effort trying new ideas will result in success?
    4. If so, how?
    5. In 100 years, we?re probably going to be dead. Since we?re going to be dead for a very long time, how many grains of sand (i.e., precious minutes of your life) should we let slip through oour hourglass trying ideas without any evidence to predict success?
    6. Is it our ethical obligation as educators (i.e., bloggers) to teach ideas that research predicts will work, thus honoring our audiences? grains of time? (This does not mean we need to become academics, researchers, or scientists; only thoughtful practitioners in pursuit of the truth.)

    Here are my answers:
    1. For most people, organizations, and governments? WAY TOO MUCH.
    2. Most of the time, we don?t.
    3. Yes, but the approach only increases the probability we get results. There?s no guarantee.
    4. Try only those ideas that have some science to back them. The essence of science/research is prediction. And aren?t we really predicting things will get better as a result of trying something?
    5. Zero
    6. For me, yes.

    Thank you.
    Be eXtraordinary as you pursue what is true,
    Dave Jensen
    http://www.DaveJensenOnLeadership.com

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    41

    mccarthyVincent

    09/21/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I quite agreed with you on you 5 things to be a good aspiring manager. Yet I will want to add Planning. A good manager must know how to plan. It's like a compass the the pilot uses to navigates it's route form point A-B.

    Dr. McCarthy
    President Institute of Planning, Nigeria (IPN)

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    42

    MavMin2

    09/22/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    "Are you saying you'd reject the MBA with all other things being equal? That would be shortsighted..."

    Maybe, but some others do the same thing with BAs. They would rather have someone with an AA that proves they are motivated but indoctrinated any given way to make them inflexible to the organization's processes. if some feel that a BA makes you a tad inflexible how much more would an MBA or PhD make you?

    I have had too many experiences with advanced degreed people being "prideful" or inflexible or just a good lad with paper but not in practical performance. They were good on a test but stunk at the rest thus he would have to really amaze me in other ways to make the degree impress me. I want people that produce. I don't care if they got their degree at MIT or Hard Knocks U.

    Another issue is that the degreed folks often have great expectations of advancement that might not equal reality and thus get frustrated and leave or worse hang around and grieve everyday out loud making the work environment less pleasing than it would be without them. The non-degreed might actually just be happy to have a job and will work until the advancement comes and be thrilled it came at all.

    From a fiscal viewpoint, they are also more satisified with less salary and do not need pretentious titles and corner or window offices to motivate them or placate them. That doesn't mean you will not reward a superstar, but it does mean you do not have to deal with those who are needy for such perks to their ego.

    Better a good old boy I can count on than a pretty boy I can't or have to spend time smoothing his feather or pumping up his ego.

    And that is the way it is in my part of Texas! wink




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    43

    MavMin2

    09/22/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Can't edit but I meant motivated, but NOT indoctrinated.

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    44

    Steve Tobak

    09/22/09 | Report as spam

    The MBA debate

    MavMin2: I share your experience with some (not all, but enough) folks with MBAs and other advanced degrees. Also I worked and lived in Texas twice with Texas Instruments (80s) and Cyrix (90s) - both in Dallas. Still miss it sometimes ...

    ST

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    45

    MavMin2

    09/23/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    C'mon back! I'll treat you to some armadillo eggs and other delicacies! Texas is the best place to be nowadays, anyway. It's state fair time so hitch up yer hoss and git on back now, heah?

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    46

    Steve Tobak

    09/23/09 | Report as spam

    LOL

    MavMin2: Thanks, I need that this morning. wink

    What I really miss is the barbecue, the warm summer nights, and that "small town" feeling, even in a big city. But we just built a new house here in CA - at the top of the bubble, no less - so I'm stuck for a while. Maybe in 5 years we'll move to Austin ...

    ST

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    47

    MavMin2

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Bummer, Steve! Let's hope in five years you're not on an island or stuck in a crack instead of a bubble!

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    48

    mike_bechthold@...

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    @ MavMin2

    "I want people that produce. I don't care if they got their degree at MIT or Hard Knocks U."

    That is the bottom line, period - in TX, CA, wherever! And I agree that if you're getting an attitude of entitlement more than a committment to excellent execution, you've got a 'bad egg MBA'. And that is where my theory of attitude and discipline being 2/3 of the success equation comes from; and the other 1/3 is comprised of all the other skills mentioned above.

    But there are good MBAs out there, like me... wink
    Peace,
    MJB

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    49

    Grazia Valentino-Boschi

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Has anyone thought of writing a piece on how employees (sometimes mistakenly called "team" members) need to learn to behave like adults too? And that their supervisor/manager isn't a parent against whom they are rebelling? In my day, if a boss asked me to do something, I might have asked for further clarification, but no way would I have refused point-blank unless there was a very serious reason to do so. I am sure employees see their mothers or fathers in us and just say "no" as an automatic response!

    Having sat thru numerous management training sessions, the conclusion I have drawn is that the theory is great as long as you are dealing with someone who is:

    1. The other person has also done the course so understands what you are trying to do/accomplish
    2. An adult mentally as well as physically
    3. Not suffering from some sort of undiagnosed mental illness (believe me - I have had to manage my fair share of people who were not all there!)

    Watching programmes like Super Nanny has made me wonder if there is a way to transfer her tips to the workplace - is there a business equivalent of the naughty step btw?

    Interestingly, most (but not all, I admit!) people who have worked for me really liked me as their boss. They are obviously adults and totally sane!!

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    50

    Steve Tobak

    09/24/09 | Report as spam

    How about employees acting like adults?

    Grazia Valentino-Boschi: you raise a good point. If you're in the U.S., most states have "at will" employment laws. If an employee is acting like a child, fire 'em. If your company doesn't condone that practice, then you don't have an employee problem, you have a management problem after all.

    ST

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    51

    Grazia Valentino-Boschi

    09/25/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Unfortunately, not the smae in Europe - which is a mixed blessing.

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    52

    Grazia Valentino-Boschi

    09/25/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Unfortunately, not the same in Europe - which is a mixed blessing.

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    53

    Steve Tobak

    09/25/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Grazia:

    Oh, Europe. Land of employee rights and all that. Hmmm, that's a tough one.

    Anyway, I'm sure you're a great boss. As for me, well, not so much.

    ST

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    54

    Grazia Valentino-Boschi

    09/27/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Rights can be wonderful or a millstone depending which side of the desk you are on!!

    Re: being a good boss - from you article, I think you would be a good one, despite what you say. Have a great Sunday.

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    55

    Milliana

    09/28/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    This is great Steve.....opened my eyes as i get ready for my new job as a manager!!

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    56

    ssritharan

    09/29/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Very interesting read Steve, it is tough when you have to let go some of those business activities, relationships and close loops to free yourself to takeon further challenges, especially when you are super-bonded with passion and personal value goes along with it. Mangers need strong will, and domenstrate selfishness to create many of them for future business socity rather than adding room to fake excuses and mere perception. They should empathise and sympathise when evaluating delegation needs with broader reflection and future thoughts. Finally, delegation may sounds very simple word, but it holds very adult charectors and attitude who is practicing it in what culture. Certainly there is no growth if no delegation and no dignity if no developments.....

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    57

    a-agency@...

    10/06/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    Steve, U r spot on. An immature manager tend to treat employees as children.

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    58

    ewingdeano

    10/22/09 | Report as spam

    RE: Aspiring Managers: Learn to Behave Like an Adult

    I currently work as a Experienced Sales Consultative and I have found management to be mature,hands-on and adapt to finance,selling,presenting,negotiating and communitive. Me never being an immature Hotel/Restaurant Manager found that working for management in the Hospitality Industry has its immature managers no matter what the age.

    DTE

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  • Blogger Thumbnail Steve Tobak Steve Tobak is a marketing and strategy consultant based in Silicon Valley. He's a 20-plus year high-tech industry veteran and former senior executive of a number of public and private companies. He also wrote the popular blog Train Wreck for CNET. When he's not airing corporate America's dirty laundry and helping companies solve their problems, Steve likes to play with gadgets and animals and drive his wife crazy. Find out more at Invisor.net. more »

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