The Corner Office

Early in my career, I mean decades ago, I had a boss from hell. Oh sure, I’ve had lots of dysfunctional bosses. I was a pretty dysfunctional boss myself. But this guy was different. I’m talking serious lunatic stuff here. It was so traumatic that I sort of blocked it out of my memory. But as is often the case with tragedy, there was also a comic aspect and maybe even a lesson to be learned. 

Let me set the stage here. John - we’ll call him John - ran a regional office for a huge multinational technology company based in Asia. That’s where our products and services were developed. These folks in Asia had no idea what they were doing in the U.S. market. I mean no idea.

John’s boss and the rest of the company’s U.S. management and headquarters were in another state - California. John’s boss was a savvy executive who made it big down the road, but the rest of the U.S. folks were, well, they were idiots. And they were our principal interface to the folks in Asia who were clueless about the U.S. market. (more…)

When I was a fulltime executive, I never would have found time for social media and all the communications gadgets everyone’s eyes, ears, and thumbs seem to be glued to these days. I used to work like 50-60 hour weeks, not to mention all the travel. The rare times I was home and not working or sleeping, I had things to do, fun to have, and relationships to maintain … like my marriage.

Now I work a lot less but my time is still somehow consumed - with what, I don’t know - and the lure of social media and communications gadgets loom like an ever-growing mountain of unmet expectations. So I wonder: how the heck does anyone have time for all this stuff and is your business life “more” or “less” fulfilling and productive now than it was pre-social media?

For me, the answers are “I don’t” and “less” and “less.” Bigtime. (more…)

I work in a jungle. Not metaphorically. I’m talking about a real jungle.

Right now I’m watching a 75 pound Rottweiler squirm around on his back, making funny noises, trying to bait a Boxer into playing. The Boxer just sits there and yawns. I have no idea what that means, unless maybe he’s bored. 

As I recline in the office La-Z-Boy - where I do much of my writing - my head rests lightly on a fluffy black pillow named Clyde. He likes to just lay there while I work. Once in a while I reach back and pet him and he purrs. That I get.

If you think this is bizarre, I don’t blame you. I think it’s bizarre too. But still, I’d bet my office environment is tame compared to the jungle you work in.

Sometimes people ask me why I gave up working in corporate America at such a young age (I don’t think I was young - I was 46 - but that’s what they ask). Well, I have a few canned answers, like:

“The workplace has become too PC for a dysfunctional control freak like me.”  (more…)

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Not only is the writing on the wall - the writing has covered the wall and spilled over onto the floor, the ceiling … hell, it’s everywhere. Big government has come to America. Now what?

Do you suck it up and learn how to live in the new world order? Or is this just a short-term pendulum swing - an overreaction to the financial crisis and eight years of George W. Bush? In that case, just vote the creeps out and play “Don’t Get Fooled Again,” right? Well, not exactly.

You see, there’s new legislation on the table that, when coupled with the bills that have already been rammed through congress, may make it very difficult to get the big government pendulum to stop, let alone swing back the other way, at least in our lifetimes.  (more…)

Updated 1:15pm PST: Just heard that the Northwest Airlines pilots who overshot the runway in Minneapolis last week were reportedly on their laptops and failed to notice all the control tower and control panel alarms and messages. I rest my case.

Last week, university researchers announced the results of a study on awareness: Just 8 percent of pedestrians talking on cellphones noticed a clown on a unicycle pedaling across a campus square, versus 60 percent of pedestrians talking with a friend.

The results are fascinating, but I think gadget and media-bombardment presents cognitive issues that go well beyond “distraction.”

A recent Stanford research study suggests that media multitasking or “high-tech juggling” between web browsing, emailing, and texting, for example, impairs cognitive control and is counterproductive. (more…)

We have record unemployment, national debt, and deficit spending. We have a vastly imperfect system. We are our own worst enemy. And we have endless greed, fraud, and scandal. But capitalism’s best days are ahead, and not just because things can’t get much worse.

I’ve got four irrefutably logical reasons why capitalism is alive, well, and thriving. And you know what? I got them from the naysayers - those who think we’re all too greedy for our own good, we should apologize for being success-oriented business people, and America’s best days are behind her.

1. Author / guru Paul B. Farrell (pictured) decries the ‘Death of Soul of Capitalism: 20 reasons America has lost its soul and collapse is inevitable,’ (not to be confused with his ’30 Reasons for Great Depression 2 by 2011,’).
   And yet you can go to his website and buy his books with titles like ‘Millionaire Meditation: Stress Management for Wall Street, Corporate America & Entrepreneurs,’ ‘The Millionaire Code: 16 Paths to Wealth,’ ‘The Lazy Person’s Guide to Investing,’ ‘The Winning Portfolio,’ and ‘Zen Millionaires.’ Do you think he really believes capitalism is going down? Think hard now.
   (more…)

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When everything’s going well, people manage to find things to whine about. And when there really is something to whine about - like record unemployment, national debt, deficit spending, bonus pools for bank executives - look out below.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Complaining does give us all something to do instead of worrying, something to feel in control of even if we’re not. Which I guess is why we do it.  

And while it does afford us some amount of temporary relief, it doesn’t really change a thing except annoy everyone around us. Instead, you might consider actually doing something to help fix the economy and accelerate its return to normal, whatever that means.

No, I’m not talking about spending money or creating jobs. Anybody who tells you to do that is an idiot. You’re going to do that when you feel it’s in the best interest of your company, shareholders, family, whatever.

That said, there are three things each of us - as business leaders and managers - should be doing, actually need to do. Sure, they’re not easy, but none of the most important things in life are. Besides, we didn’t get to this point overnight, and we won’t recover overnight either. Just put one foot in front of the other, starting here: (more…)

If you’re not pushing the envelope, you’re not going to get anywhere. If you’re not “wiping out” from time to time, you’re not learning anything. That goes for everything in life, including business. That’s a premise you can take to the bank.  

If you know anything about the likes of Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Andy Grove, Michael Dell, or Larry Ellison, you know they haven’t always been congenial and pleasant to be around, especially earlier in their careers. There’s a learning curve for everybody.

But these days I’m worried. Worried and concerned. I’m concerned that we’ve become so politically correct that there’s no room for the learning curve. I’m afraid that we’re dumbing down the workplace to the point where folks can no longer push the envelope. I’m concerned that it’s affecting our ability to operate and innovate at peak levels. Here’s the problem:  (more…)

Like many extraordinarily talented people, Howard Stern is as dysfunctional as they come. But it just so happens that he likes to air his organization’s dirty laundry on the air on Sirius XM satellite radio, which is both wildly entertaining (which may or may not be the reason he does it) and provides about the best lesson on how not to manage you’ll ever find.

If you think this is so over-the-top that it’s lesson-proof, think again. I actually had one or two CEOs who were at least as abusive, although not as disorganized, as Stern is in the interaction below. And I was a terrible manager in my early days at Texas Instruments. Don’t believe me? Go ahead, ask some of my former employees; they’ll tell you. On second thought, don’t do that, it might bring back the trauma.

Anyway, here’s a recent knock-down drag-out between Howard Stern and engineer Scott Depace, producer Gary Dell’abate, and Jason (I don’t know what Jason does), with a lead-in from Howard 100 newsman Ralph Howard and occasional chime-ins from on-air sidekicks Robin Quivers and Artie Lange.

This is a priceless lesson in how not to manage; see if you can count the management mistakes:

Ralph: “Howard 100 news has the audio tape of negotiations between these two intergalactic warriors, stay tuned …”

Howard: “What do you mean, you have audio tape of Tim and Riley?”

Ralph: “Absolutely, yes.”

Howard: “How come Tim doesn’t give that to me? That’s top priority!”

Robin: “You have the actual negotiation?”

Ralph: “Yes.”

Robin: “Wow.”

Jason: “I gave it to you this morning.”

Robin: “Everybody gives you everything.”

Howard: “Where is it?”

Jason: “Scott has it.”

Howard: “No one shows it to me.”

Jason: “I gave …”

Howard: (Yelling) “Gary, get in here.”

Gary: “Hold on, hold on. This is the first I’m hearing about it now. Jason said he gave it to Scott this morning.”

Howard: (Angry) “Where is that ‘bleeping’ nincompoop Scott keeping material from me that ‘bleeping’ bald ‘bleep’? Why do I have him in my life? Scott, get out of my life. Where is my tape? You ‘bleep’.”

Scott: “Yes, I’m a ‘bleep’.” (more…)

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The other day I accidentally got into some poison oak. When it comes to poison oak there are only two types of people - those who are allergic and those who will be allergic. Turns out that some 15 percent of the population begin life immune to its effects but repeated exposure fixes that. Contrary to what you might think, you actually become more, not less sensitive to poison oak (or ivy) over time and exposure.

But last year I didn’t know that. And having been “immune” my entire life, I thought nothing of working all weekend in a giant patch of the stuff until most of my body suddenly decided to react to it. It was so bad I call that time the “lost week” of 2008.

Anyway, faced with the grim prospect of another lost week, I did some Google searching yesterday and found that if you run hot water - as hot as you can stand - over the affected areas for a few minutes, your cells release their stored-up histamines, providing 6 to 8 hours of complete relief. It’s miraculous! I’m sitting here right now without an itch … and no drugs.

That’s just one example, but I can rattle off a long list of circumstances - related primarily to the medical, legal, and construction professions, among others - where the extreme wealth of information we call the Internet has changed my families lives and, in one case, just about saved one. (more…)