How Do You Deal with Criticism?

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  1

  debbiebyers62@...

  09/06/07 | Report as spam

  Criticism or Obsessive Compulsive?

  I think as most mature adults we can all identify what is genuine constructive criticism. The problem occurs when the person dishing out the advise has obsessive compulsive disorder. Is it criticism when you are told you are not allowed to fill up the photocopier until the paper tray is completely empty, or is it OCD - I'm an office manager and apparently can't perform basic office tasks without intricate instructions and controls.

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  jenyj89

  09/06/07 | Report as spam

  RE: How Do You Deal with Criticism?

  I tend to take the value of the criticism based not only on what is said but who is saying it. If it is someone that I respect then their criticism tends to carry more weight with me and I tend to take it to heart a bit more and look at my actions and reflect on perhaps how I can change them for the better. But if the person is someone that I do not care for or have little respect for then their criticism carries little weight with me and I give it little thought and view it as another "tic mark against me", which it usually is in their eyes.
  
  Criticism to be constructive must not only be based on content but must come from a respected source. To come from a source that carries little respect the criticism will carry little impact.

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  sinistralinid

  09/06/07 | Report as spam

  RE: How Do You Deal with Criticism?

  It depends on the person and if they are using criticism to make themselves feel better or if they are truly attempting to bring something to your attention that may need to be examined.
  
  If the former, I always stop, take a moment to mentally relax and then I would rephrase the comment in my own words, like 'what I hear you saying is that _________'. Then I would ask them to confirm if I am on target. Then I would ask 'What is it you hope to accomplish by telling me this?' I would not react because that is what most people in this category are looking for, for you to 'own' the behavior they are projecting. A lot of times, this type of person will take 'ownership' of an issue, and that they are telling you this 'for you own good'. Most of the time they do not have a really good reason for the criticism, they are deflecting you away from the true problem, their own fear, feelings inadequacy, hostility, avoiding their own feelings and so forth.
  
  If it is someone who truly has your interests in mind, stop, take a moment to compose and rephrase the comment to ensure that you understand. Then ask something along the lines of 'How would you handle this?' and so forth. Once you get to a point of understanding and get some actual alternatives/examples, thank them. If you do not agree with their assessment, thank them anyway and indicate you may have a difference of opinion on that subject. Never tell someone they are WRONG unless they are factually incorrect. And even then say that they are incorrect, not wrong.
  
  In most settings it is ok to disagree as long as the disagreement does not take the form of a personal attack. Always be polite and try to understand what they are telling you and don't get defensive, you might learn something. Listen and respond, don't start thinking of what to say while they are still talking, you might miss something important, trying to defend yourself. It never feels good to criticise and most people don't know how to approach constructive criticsm with a co worker, try and remember it is unpleasnt for both individuals

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  aimconsultant

  09/07/07 | Report as spam

  RE: How Do You Deal with Criticism?

  We have to understand that we live in society, with various kind of people in terms of attitude and behaviour. Just listen to all criticsm, though it is a fake one, appreciate that people who give criticim, have spent their valuable time. At the end we will understand, the kind of people they are, either they give positive or negative criticm.