If you’re in business, you probably think you are. Some 61 percent of managers say they’re too nice.
Tim Hiltabiddle, the co-author of “Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office” is hosting 800CEORead for a day or two. Here’s his post on why he wanted to write the book, which boils down to this:
I am a recovering ‘nice guy’ and have had numerous experiences in my career when my desire to be ‘nice’ and please others hindered my ability to achieve success in the business world, including times when my clients, co-workers, and vendors took advantage of my good nature. I’ve made great strides over the years to get beyond this tendency and have learned to be more assertive, stick up for myself, deal with conflict, set good boundaries, and take more risks.
Hiltabiddle says you don’t have to be a jerk to run a company. But being too nice doesn’t work, either.
His next two posts say a bit more about how to avoid being a patsy or a jerk.
He points out that Nice Gals can also find the corner office.
And he posts his Nice Guy Bill of Rights, eight points that make up the heart of the book. Of course, the original Bill of Rights had 10 points. But this is a management book, not a world-changing document.
The third post made me feel iffy about the book. I like the premise — I often feel like I’m agreeable to a fault (and BNET’s editors remind me frequently that Big Think is too nice). But the first thing on their list is “You have the right to SELF-AWARENESS.” Blech.
I also wonder whether I really need the Right to BE BOLD or to SPEAK UP. But maybe I’m so stuck in my niceness I can’t see that I’ve stopped exercising these rights.
Has anyone read the book and found it helped them, um, CONFRONT (that’s another Nice Guy Right) their niceness? Or is it just psychotherapy-in-a-book, which usually doesn’t work?
I had to learn assertiveness as part of my Diploma (any guesses what field?) And you know what, I am still not an extrovert and do not want to be one but I am an effective leader. MY experience of nice people is that they smile while stabbing you in the back. I vastly prefer honest people with a sense of humour. Assertiveness training will free up the real workers to show what they can do.
