The Find: Recent research reveals almost all of us vastly underestimate the number of people willing to offer help if confronted with a direct request.
- The Source: New research from Stanford Graduate School of Business reported in the Stanford Knowledgebase.
The Takeaway: Frank Flynn, associate professor of organizational behavior at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and Vanessa Lake, a Columbia University psychology doctoral student asked volunteers to estimate the likelihood that strangers would agree to perform three favors: borrowing a cell phone to make a call, filling out a questionnaire, and help finding the campus gym—a favor that required students to walk at least two blocks out of their way. The researchers found study participants overestimated the number of people who would decline to help them by 50 percent.
The researchers then replicated their results in a real world fund raising scenario — again most people vastly overestimated how many people they’d have to approach to make their fund raising goal.
So what caused the participants to over-anticipate rejection? Stanford Knowledgebase explains:
The researchers found it’s because they fail to get inside the head of the potential helper… those who are approached for a favor are under social pressure to be benevolent. Just saying no can make them look very bad—to themselves or others.
This misapprehension led the participants to incorrectly predict that they would get more assistance if they asked indirectly, when in fact helpers noted that a direct request was far harder to deny.
The takeaway? Get over your discomfort. If you could use help, ask and ask directly.
The Question: How difficult do you find it to ask for help?
